In Transition

2010-01-21T14:29:00.001-07:00

“No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.” ~Robert Southey

Christmas means many wonderful things; among them is reconnecting with loved ones. So, we have decided to launch the classic tradition of the Christmas letter for the Bradley family.

We’ve been on the move since our wedding in June 2008. Our quiet union in Kauai with immediate family was a picture-perfect way to start our lives together. We appreciated friends and family celebrating with us at receptions in Vancouver, British Columbia and Colorado Springs; it meant a lot for us to be able to meet and re-establish contact with so many people who have been important in our lives. (Wedding photos can be viewed at http://www.joelandcarriebradley.com/)

For Christmas 08, we drove to Montana to be with Carrie’s family (the Ericksons). Sub-zero temps didn’t keep us from cross-country skiing and having an all-around good time. On our return trip we dodged avalanches to get an amazing downhill powder day in Jackson Hole, WY. Sun and warmer weather greeted us in Colorado for a ski day in Steamboat Springs, before returning to home turf at Winter Park. We enjoyed season passes at Winter Park and feel blessed to enjoy our cozy townhouse which provides a warm and relaxing retreat for us. (Check it out at http://www.gotowinterpark.com/).

Although we enjoy skiing, we welcome warmer weather. Our week-long summer trip took us to the East Coast. We visited Joel’s family friends, Dick and Evelyn Mack, at their cottage on Nantucket Island—a special place to Joel since childhood. We toured the island on bikes and savored the sea breezes. Carrie got to meet Joel’s aunt, Joan, and cousin, David, at their home in Manchester, NH. We drove from there to Maine for a couple days, then back down to Boston, where we were once again warmly hosted by Dick and Evelyn. We got to experience the spectacle of 4th of July fireworks in Boston, right where so many events related to American independence took place.

The following weekend Carrie finished her 6-year National Guard commitment and “retired” from the Air Force. Weddings also kept us busy in July. Carrie traveled to Michigan to attend cousin Herb and Jackie’s wedding. Then Carrie and Joel attended his cousin Anne and Eric’s wedding in Grand Lake, CO. In August we convened again with the Ericksons and Bradleys at the cabin in B.C., Whaleback—this time for a play week (last year was work week), including kayaking and hiking. Speaking of hiking, we continue to enjoy “bagging” 14ers—mountains over 14,000 feet—and got one in, San Luis Peak, on a backpacking trip over Labor Day weekend. Joel also climbed Stewart Peak at 13,983. Later in the summer, Carrie competed in her first mountain bike race, a 25-miler, in Winter Park.

We’ve been getting more involved in our church, and in our “spare” time volunteer as small-group leaders for highschoolers. Carrie graduated from Colorado Institute of Massage Therapy’s year-long program in October and started working at Toccare Massage Clinic, VillaSport, and started Bridgeport Massage Therapy (check out the Joel-managed site at http://www.bridgeportmassage.com/). Joel continued his 11th year at Rimrock Group, Inc. (RGI), where he has taken on new tasks in three-dimensional design and also technical writing. The company reached milestones this year in moving to a brand-new, luxurious office space, and taking the entire company (with families) to Mexico.

As you probably know (or can deduce), when we’re not working we like to be traveling! In October, Joel went to Oregon for a spiritual retreat and we drove to Telluride for a snowy, but sunny weekend stay. Joe and Bonee (Carrie’s folks) drove to Colorado to spend a lovely Thanksgiving with us in the Springs and Winter Park. This Christmas we will be at home in Colorado Springs, then on the 26th we head to Cancun for a week, courtesy of RGI. We are looking forward to visiting Paul and Joyce (Joel’s folks) in Vancouver for the winter Olympics in February.

We hope to hear how you’re doing and what you’ve been up to as well. Merry Christmas and a happy 2010!

One Year Later

2009-03-14T08:00:00.001-06:00

Yes, I pretty much abandoned this blog for an entire year. I don't expect anyone to be checking back, but for anyone who may stumble upon it--I figure I owe an explanation, or at least an update!
So, life got busy. That's the main thing. Lots of changes have happened. I got married to the love of my life on June 17, 2008. We had a reception in Vancouver, BC, Canada and one in Colorado Springs. We've had much fun hiking, skiing, and living life together.
Also, I underwent a rather drastic career change. God graciously directed me away from my editing job in September, 2008. The next month I started a one-year program at the Colorado Institute of Massage Therapy. I'm absolutely loving it, and may direct future writings here to related subjects. Maybe I'll change the blog name too.
Another reason I've been delinquent on this blog is that I became a Facebooker, which has been a fun and distracting way to keep in touch with people.
There you have it--my life in the last year in a very small nutshell.

We Have a Wedding Plan

2008-03-14T14:32:00.011-06:00

I know many of you out there are wondering what's up with Carrie and Joel's wedding.

Here it is 3 months after we got engaged, and still no announcement of a date.
To put it simply: planning a wedding is complicated--even when you're trying to make it simple!

Joel and I decided we wanted to have a laid-back wedding somewhere memorable, unusual and exotic. Rather than expect a host of guests to follow us, we opted to have only our immediate family attend the ceremony. Joel and I each have two parents and an older brother who will join us.

After much deliberation and shuffling over schedules, we have confirmed June 17, 2008 as our wedding day. The location for the ceremony will be this lovely little church in Hanalei, Kauai. The officiant is the church's pastor, Kahua Alpha.

I've purchased my dress from the Galina collection at David's Bridal. Thankfully it was not a difficult decision, and I found exactly what I wanted right away. Shopping can be torturous for me. (I still remember how I spent weeks searching for the perfect 8th-grade graduation dress.)
I'm still in the process of choosing flowers and church decor, but I really like this bouquet with lots of bright colors.

The mothers have coordinated their dress with aqua colors, and we're thinking the guys will wear khaki pants with white shirts. We will probably do the traditional Hawaiian leis. One of the most important details for us is good photography. I'm really excited about working with Rachel Robertson (check out her website).

There are so many details involved. Honestly, we've been a little overwhelmed--but excited! We really are not into all the hoopla that can go into such an event. The multi-billion dollar wedding industry and all the peripheral junk that goes along with it kind of makes me sick. Yes, the start of a marriage should be celebrated and commemorized, I think, but do you really need a $50 cake-cutting knife? Ok, I'll get off that rant.

Though we're not doing things "the traditional way,"we still want to involve others close to us in the festivities. Our community of friends and family is important to us and we want them to be a part of not only our wedding, but also our marriage.

So, we're planning a reception here in Colorado Springs (or vicinity) on Sept. 13. We like this day because it will be my parent's 39th anniversary, and we can have a big ol' celebration of marriage. We know that's quite some time after the wedding. If you could look at our summer calendar, you would understand (I hope). We also want to give those who will be attending time to plan, book flights, etc..

By then we should be fairly well settled, so people can come visit our abode. Several have asked where we will make our home. Here's a picture of Joel's house, where I will move in once we're married.

Despite the hecticness of it all, we're enjoying the process, and Joel and I are very much looking forward to the future.

Freaky Be

2008-03-12T10:28:00.002-06:00

This morning as I scanned an e-newsletter, I came to the following quote: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world."--Mahatma Gandhi (Indian political leader)

Immediately, I thought, “What a coincidence! Yesterday I heard a song to that affect.”

And right as I thought it, that very song [Eric Bibb's "Spirit I Am"] came on my iTunes and the lyric, “Am I the change I long to see?” played.

I’ll take it as a sign and a challenge. How can I be the change I long to see?

Believing the Best

2008-02-28T15:17:00.002-07:00

Do you ever doubt that God of the universe could love you?

Though I could look you in the eye and truthfully say, “Jesus loves me,” my actions communicate I don’t really believe God truly loves me, or that others genuinely do either.

Recent interactions have reminded me how far I have yet to go in believing the best about God (that He has my best interests at heart) and believing the best about others close to me (that they really like me and value my company and wouldn’t want to intentionally hurt me).

I wonder, why is believing the best so difficult and/or risky?

Dancing With God

2008-02-25T14:09:00.001-07:00

My mom sent recently this to me. I don’t know who wrote it, but I like it:

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.

When I saw “G” I thought of God, followed by “u” and “i.”
“God, "u" and "i" dance."

God, you, and I dance.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.

Even cake decorators need editors

2008-02-25T13:58:00.003-07:00

Wal-Mart Employee: "Hello 'dis Walmarts, how can I help you?"

Customer: "Yes, I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week."
Wal-Mart Employee: "Whatcha want on the cake?"

Customer: "Best Wishes Suzanne."
And underneath that, "We will miss you."

Health

2008-02-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

Today I’m thankful I have a healthy body, and that my most of my family and close friends do too. When I hear about friends of friends who are experiencing extreme health struggles (cancer, strokes, paralysis, etc…) I realize how often I take for granted my lack of maladies.
Though I’m tempted to complain about how a new prescription is affecting my body in odd ways, I realize how much worse it could be, and how much worse it is for many. Then I remember to pray for them and to do anything else I can to help. I also remember how much better it will be in heaven where there is no disease, no pain or suffering.
In the meantime, between here and heaven, I ask God to comfort the hurting, heal the sick, and bind up the brokenhearted.

excuses, excuses

2008-02-13T15:25:00.003-07:00

I know, I know! It's been like forever since I updated this blog (and I've completely let my other one go).
Well, since I got a couple complaints from people who may actually want to read the thing, I'll take a stab at some excuses, or explanations, if you will.
I'd like to be better about blogging. But understand, I have some perfectionist tendencies and if I don't feel like I can do something well, I may not do it at all.

So, it's true, being engaged (and consequently planning a wedding) is exciting and wonderful and takes up much of my time and attention.
Also, some other life changes to note: I'm now working 24 hours a week, though doing the exact same duties, at my job.
I'm taking two classes at UCCS to prepare for graduate school and still doing a fair amount of freelance editing.
Then, there's the balancing two different small-group Bible studies, premarital counseling homework, spending time with my man, catching up with friends and family, starting to train for a 100-mile bike ride, and writing etc...
These are all wonderful things! I'm just trying to figure out how to do it all, and realizing sometimes I can't. That's when blogging goes.
But don't worry, I'll be back (hopefully soon).

Announcing Hearts for the Homeless luncheon

2008-01-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

I received this press release today, and thought it's worth passing on to a few who may come across my blog and be interested in helping homeless children. I haven't heard of this organization before, but it looks interesting:

Interfaith Hospitality Network of Colorado Springs is pleased to announce their annual Hearts for the Homeless luncheon and auction on Sunday, February 10th at noon at the Marriott Hotel, 5580 Tech Center Drive. IHN provides shelter, meals, hospitality and case management support for families with children who find themselves in a homeless situation.

Jan Martin, Colorado Springs City Councilwoman, and Regina Lewis, CEO and Founder of ReginaSpeaking, will be featured speakers. In addition to featured speakers, congregations that have been in the Network helping IHN provide shelter to families for the last ten years will be honored.

The price for the luncheon is $35 per person or $300 for a table of ten. For further information or to purchase tickets for the event, please call IHN at 329-1244.

Friday quote

2008-01-11T09:46:00.001-07:00

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man."
--Benjamin Franklin,politician, inventor and author

We're engaged!

2008-01-10T17:29:00.000-07:00

On New Year's Eve, Joel Bradley, a most wonderful man God has placed in my life, asked me to marry him.

Joel and I met Aug. 15, 2007. Mike Braun (a former CBA coworker) was living in Joel's house at the time. Mike thought since Joel and I have a lot in common (love for Jesus, hiking, skiing, biking, music, travel, etc...) and our personalities are very similar, that we should meet. Turns out he was right!

Though we have not known each other long, Joel and I know we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We've been talking about this for awhile, so the proposal didn't come as a shocking surprise—yet nevertheless delightful.

Joel had planned a New Year's Eve (NYE) ski getaway in Winter Park (WP), where he owns a townhome. Though we invited some friends and family, he told me we'd have a romantic dinner alone on NYE.

The two of us drove up Sun. Dec. 30 with the others to follow later in the day. However, soon after we arrived in WP in near whiteout conditions, all the mountain passes and I-70 closed. Close friends, the Thompsons (who have a place nearby), had made it to WP, so we did a late-Christmas gift exchange there. Impressively, they all knew what was to come (including 3 young-ish boys) but didn't say anything.

Monday, Dec. 31, we woke up to sub-zero temps and high winds, so decided not to brave the ski hill. We opted for a short cross-country stint in the afternoon—after Joel did some errands. He had a good excuse to get out of the house and not take me, since the fire alarm downstairs had been chirping incessantly the day before. Unbeknownst to me, he picked up flowers and delivered them to Devil's Thumb Ranch, where we'd be having dinner. He also called my parents (which wasn't difficult for him since we'd spent Thanksgiving together) to officially ask permission.

Devil's Thumb is a rustically beautiful, picturesque lodge. We sat down to a 5-course meal. I could tell he was nervous, but we conversed with relative ease. After our dessert plates had cleared, Joel confessed his love for me and said he'd vowed never to tell a woman that unless he wanted to marry her. After many other kind and sweet words, which I'm not currently able to quote verbatim, he asked me to be his wife. Of course, I said yes (with glee and glimmers of tears)!

The ring he gave me originated with his great-grandmother. It was passed through generations, and his dad gave it to his mom upon their engagement. It's a spectacular solitaire diamond set on white gold. Its history and longevity as a symbol of lifelong commitment bring great privilege and responsibility, and I'm honored to wear it.

The wait staff subsequently brought out the flowers and two glasses of Champaign. We raised glasses again at the Thompsons, where a neighborhood crowd had gathered to congratulate us (and ring in the New Year).

We are excited about the year to come, and talking about a late-summer wedding. To see more photos, go to Joel's web site: http://www.houseofjoel.com/houseofjoel/photos/personal/2007Engagement/.

Thanksgiving pics

2007-11-29T17:01:00.001-07:00

My parents, Joel, and I

spent Thanksgiving

weekend

at his place in Winter Park.

Thanksgiving Day we skied on Berthoud Pass,

warmed up in the hot tub,

and cooked ourselves a delicious and nutritious meal.

Friday quote collection

2007-11-16T12:10:00.001-07:00

“Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm."
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge, English poet, critic and philosopher

“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one."
--James A. Froude, English historian

“Well, you've got to take the bitter with the better."
--Jane Ace, radio personality

“Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom."
--George Iles, author

God's plan

2007-11-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

Someone asked Henry Blackaby, “How do I know God’s will for my life?”

He turned the question around. “What’s God’s plan and what role does He want you to play?”

God’s not developing 2.6 billion plans and sitting around waiting for us to ask for our individual plan. God is doing something massive and He has a part for us to play.

He wants for us to surrender. Jesus never did anything apart from His Father’s will.

Time-tested truth

2007-11-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

Last week when I was at the Air Force Academy, I decided to stop by the Cadet Chapel since I'd never been inside. It's worth the trip!
Though many churches and cathedrals are much older than this structure, I got a sense that so much history has passed by those angular walls.
In related news, 5/30 reports, "For the first time, the Pentagon approved a motion picture to be filmed at the Air Force Academy."
Wanting to soak in the reality that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, I walked in the chapel (don't worry, it's allowed!), sat down on a pew, and picked up a hymnal.
This passage is the one that jumped out at me:
"I hide Your Word within my heart to keep me safe from sin. For where your truth is in control, no lie can inter in." --Claire Cloninger
I'm reminded once again, "For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does." (Psalm 33:4)

Power of positive thinking in the pool

2007-11-06T16:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday as I slipped on my swimsuit to prepare for an aquatic workout, I bemoaned an apparent extra bit of pudge. All the more reason to get back in the pool, I thought.
As I entered the pool deck, my former swimming coach spotted me.
After “hello,” his first words were “Have you lost weight?”
I said, “No, actually I was just thinking I had gained some.”
He replied, “Well, it must just be muscle.”
Then he’d asked if I’d competed in the most recent triathlon.
He encouraged me to do the next one, saying, “You’re going to win!”
Though I thought most of his words were flattery, (I suppose it doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme; gaining a little winter weight is inevitable—though I won’t know for sure since I don’t weigh myself. And, it’s not likely I would win a tri since my swimming is so weak I need lessons!).
However, I certainly did swim longer and faster as a result of the power of positive thinking imparted by a kindly coach.
I remembered the hope that I can use my words to genuinely encourage others. And, I got to practice the principle right away. The gentleman swimming in the lane next to me started gasping for air and came back to the edge of the pool.
He said, “I psyched myself out.”
I affirmed that even swimming is a matter of the mind and told him he could do it (since it was apparent he could swim).
Simple enough—not profound words, but they proved helpful.
Positive thinking may not keep you afloat, but it can provide some power in the paddles!

Friday quote collection

2007-11-02T08:53:00.000-06:00

“Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response."
--Mildred Barthel, author

“Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others."
--Jonathan Winters, comedian, author and artist

“Paradise is here or nowhere: You must take your joy with you, or you will never find it."
--O.S. Marden, founder of Success Magazine

“Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you're finished."
--Leslie Nielsen, Canadian-American actor

“No wise man ever wished to be younger."
--Jonathan Swift, Irish satirist, journalist and author

“What we need is to love without getting tired."
--Mother Teresa, Nobel Peace Prize-winning humanitarian

“The best is yet to be."
--Robert Browning, British poet and playwright

“Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."
--Harriet Braiker, psychologist and writer

“Silence can be as different as sounds."
--Elizabeth Bowen, Anglo-Irish writer

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means."
--Albert Einstein, German-born Swiss-American physicist

Agree? Disagree?

2007 in review

2007-11-01T19:24:00.000-06:00

My mom is amazing about sending Christmas letters every year. She asked me to recap my year in third person for her family letter. It's difficult to put a full year into a few words (and there are still two months left)!

If you're a blogger reading this, I tag (challenge) you to do the same--sum up your year in fewer than 300 words.

Thankful for life and limbs intact after a car accident in December 2006, Carrie started out the year fresh with a newer Subaru purchased in Montana. Joe (dad) graciously drove the car to Colorado and took the bus home so Carrie could use her return flight. [click for pic: car and dog pictured]

Carrie celebrated her January birthday in Breckenridge, CO by snow-sculpture gazing and cross-country skiing with dear friends. These friends and church community continue to enrich her life greatly.
Easter was spent in Glenwood Springs, a new favorite place, with fabulous friend Katie [click for pics] .
Early summer took Carrie to Spokane, WA for cousin Nellie’s Gonzaga graduation [click for pics] and to Pasadena, CA for dear friend Nadia’s Fuller Seminary graduation. Afterward, the two celebrated by skydiving for the first time [click for pics] !
Later in the summer, Carrie (with the help of hard-working parents) moved out of her apartment and into the spacious basement of a lovely home in Monument (north of Colorado Springs).

Athletic adventures for Carrie included swimming lessons in the spring, a sprint triathlon in the summer, several great hikes, and running the VA Beach Rock N’ Roll half-marathon to raise money and awareness for Children’s HopeChest.
Carrie’s work as an editor took her to Indianapolis, Nashville, Atlanta, and Chicago this year. She felt grateful to still have her job after the company laid off half her department—a bigger loss than she's expected.

Carrie also mourned the death of a mentor [click for pic: Sheryl] a dear coworker, grandpa, plus her 14-year old dog Chewy and 20-year old horse BZ.
In the midst of loss, Carrie found hope in the One who gives and takes away. She celebrated love at cousin Bell's wedding [click for pics], with long-enduring friends, and rejoiced in a new relationship. God is good--all the time.

Remembering Grandpa

2007-11-01T19:21:00.000-06:00

It’s been almost a month since my grandpa’s memorial service. Though I wasn’t intentionally avoiding this post, it’s been easier not to think on it. Life is busy and has many distractions, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stop and remember.

I share some thoughts from my journal, dated Oct. 7:
There are so many positive impressions and good memories of yesterday’s memorial service for Grandpa Herb, it will be difficult to remember and record them all.
The day started out as mom and I worked out at the Park Plaza Hotel gym, then walked down Last Chance Gulch. The historic buildings and old brick kilns took us back in history. Mom and I kept walking until we reached a Mount Helena City Park trail head and decided to explore that. We ended up hiking where the snow met the mountain, and we climbed above the city to overlook a beautiful valley glowing with fall trees and snowcapped mountains behind brick buildings enduring another season. I wished I’d had my camera, but some moments I suppose you can’t capture completely.
I think we rejoiced that the day had arrived to remember and celebrate Grandpa’s loving and full life.
After we retrieved Olin, we ate breakfast at the Park Avenue bakery. The warmth of the ovens and coffee easing the chill from outside, we reminisced about Grandpa’s favorite days hauling wood with his old pickup in Rimini.

Later in the day we made our way out to the little church in Clancy, which is where grandpa attended since he’d been living in the nearby nursing home.
When Pastor Uda started reading my Grandpa’s stories (dictated years ago), I started crying, which took my by surprise because I’d held it together up until then.
I felt joyful to be celebrating his life and freedom from pain, and yet the magnitude of the fullness of his life struck me. There was so much there that we didn’t know or remember when we saw his failing old body.
He had been a striking young man, a hulk of a guy who set throwing records and played college football, and had his choice of women.
Yet he chose my Grandma LaVaughn (who was already married when they first met). Their story of falling in love, her leaving her alcoholic first husband, and marrying right before Herb shipped off to war is a remarkable one. She nursed him back to health after he came back with one eye missing and much more wounded than that.
For Herb’s 89th birthday my mom had a video made of his legacy, which they showed at the memorial. It was a beautiful testimony to a full life.
My cousin Nellie represented the grandkids by speaking about how he was always our biggest fan. He attended every sporting event he could, and got as involved as he could—even if it meant driving his van right up on the cross-country course.
How many 80-something grandparents e-mail their grandkids? Nellie said she got a priceless e-mail from him that read: “Nellie, I seem to have lost your e-mail address. (Yet somehow he managed to get this e-mail to her) Can you send it to me?”
His grandkids were his pride and joy and he told everyone everything we were up to—giving us superstar status.
At the reception the other grandkids shared impromptu how his life had affected us. Bell stood up and said it was an honor to have him as a part of their special event.
I agreed and said it was part of his amazing story that only God could have written.
No other event would have gotten us all together at once. Every good story has conflict and tension, and the overcoming of it. Grandpa displayed being an overcomer his whole life. He learned from his hardships and taught us to be life-long learners as well. I think one of the crowning accomplishments of his life was that he saw all five grandkids graduate from college. Not even death could keep grandpa down. Now he’s in heaven reunited with loved ones and his legacy lives on in each of us (as I wrote before, but think it’s worth remembering).

Montana recreation

2007-10-23T17:33:00.000-06:00

Woohoo! Blogger added a video feature.
When I was in Montana earlier in October, my dad took me for a ride in the motorcycle sidecar.
Mom meant to take a picture, but made it a video. I think it's funny to watch, but beware--you might get motion sickness.

The night I arrived in Montana my mom and I went for a walk in the horse pasture. I then decided to go run on a smoother surface--the road. Mom warned (as all good mothers should even if their children are nearly 30, "Watch for cars." I saw only one in all 20+ minutes on the road.

Also on the road in Montana, one can ride a motorcycle 125 mph (this is a hypothetical experience of course)!

Mountain biking with my brother on the road and off (into a knee-deep river for him), also brought much enjoyment.

Finally, the family (including aunt and cousins on my dad's side) experienced a beautiful mountain hike. Though windy, it was about a picturesque as this part of the country gets.

More wedding photos

2007-10-23T17:29:00.000-06:00

Isabell's photographer, Leo Chen, did an amazing job .

This picture makes me laugh every time I look at it.
To see more photos on his web site, click here.

RecoveRED

2007-09-20T09:55:00.000-06:00

Joy comes in the morning.

The bridesmaids wore black

2007-09-20T09:39:00.000-06:00

But we didn’t know someone would die at the rehearsal dinner.

We arrived in good spirits after dressing up for the occasion. My mom told me that grandpa said as far as he was concerned this dinner was the main event of the weekend.

My cousin Bell would soon be marrying Mark in the cathedral where she was raised—her childhood dream. We sported our slippers since shoes weren’t allowed on the hardwood floors of the rustic yet immaculate lodge/bed & breakfast. I said hello to people I hadn’t seen in months, including my grandpa.

With him in a wheelchair with one eye and one hand and limited hearing, it makes it harder to keep in touch. The last time we’d talked was Sept . 9, Grandparent’s Day. I called to tell him I love and appreciate him. You never know when the last time you’ll speak with someone will be.

Seventy people filled the Elkhorn Lodge for the rehearsal dinner Friday night. We sat at white linen-covered tables overlooking the big blue Montana sky and prominent mountains.
We came to celebrate love and new beginnings. Filet mignon and halibut graced our plates; champagne filled glasses clinking to toast the just-about married couple.

And then he choked.
I didn’t know what was going on with my grandpa at the next table until they wheeled him aside and started performing the Heimlich. Then they wheeled him past me, his head slumped over, face turning purple.
The priest stood up and said a prayer, said they’d called 911.

But it was too late. There was nothing any of the medical professionals in the room could have done.
They laid him down by the buffet line behind the fireplace. And we couldn’t believe this was happening. Why here? Why now?

The cousins huddled, held each other, and cried.
My mom, grandpa Herb’s only surviving child, cried too. But her hope rose above the chaos and confusion. She reminded us this happened for a reason. When else would we all be together at one time?
And what a blessing to die quickly rather than fight slow, painful illness. He is in a better place now with no more suffering. We even laughed a little that no one would be forgetting this event.

People stood up and gave tribute to Herb and talked about the “greatest generation.” Others proclaimed a new generation—Mark and Bell will make history of their own. Grandpa Herb’s legacy of love and service remains in each of us as we go forward.

We celebrated love and new beginnings. A couple to be joined together forever and a war-weary soul ready for eternal glory.

Grandpa Herb would have turned 90 on Oct. 8, 2007. We will celebrate him with a memorial on that weekend. Click here to read his obituary.

My favorite season

2007-09-09T20:17:00.000-06:00

Thank God it's September!
Fall is my favorite season and I'm thankful to be able to enjoy it with quality company.
Joel and I enjoyed a spectacular but windy mtn bike ride Friday, after inaugurating my new bike rack with two bikes.
My car will again don two bikes when Katie and I leave for Wyoming/Montana tomorrow.
More pictures to come!

Run for One

2007-09-06T21:42:00.000-06:00

We did it!

A great big THANK YOU to those of you who helped me accomplish this goal.

I completed the Run for One and finished the Virginia Beach Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon Sept. 2, 2007. I felt like it was the best race I'd ever run.

It wasn't my fastest time (1:42), but it was better than I'd expected (1:48). It worked out to be about 8.3 minute miles (for 13 miles). And the feeling of being a part of something bigger than myself was remarkable and irreplaceable.

For race results, click the medals (credit: rnrhalf.com photo gallery). My bib #6209.

For photos of me running, click this photo (credit: rnrhalf.com photo gallery).

Our hotel was right on the beach, and I enjoyed some down-time after a very hectic week (layoffs at work).
Our coach, Lisa Rainsberger (Boston marathon winner), with me and other runners for one-rs.

"Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." Hebrews 12:2

Saying "Yes" to God

2007-08-07T17:05:00.000-06:00

I started reading this book and God's been testing me on it.
For example, yesterday I was buying lunch at Whole Foods. For some reason, I decided to get an extra $5 cash, though I hardly ever carry cash. "I might need it for something," I thought.
I walked out to my car and heard a man asking a woman for money so he could fill up the gas can in his hand, and something about his mom and Wal-Mart.
She abruptly said "No" and walked away.
He then came up and asked me and I gave him the $5 bill. Now, I don't know what he actually did with it and whether his story was truthful. But I suppose that's not for me to decide.
God calls each of us to respond to his nods.
I'm not blogging about this to pat myself on the back (Remember, it's not about me!). Instead, I'm proclaiming a public challenge for myself and others. Next time I might actually give with a spirit of love, rather than guilt. Next time may I take a few moments to actually hear a man's story, ask his name, and give him an encouraging word as well.
Next time, may I say "Yes" to God.

Friday Quote Collection: part 1

2007-07-27T09:55:00.000-06:00

Today I bring you a random collection of quotes I like. Which is your favorite?

"The most effective way to do it, is to do it." --Amelia Earhart, aviation pioneer

"It takes 20 years of hard work to become an overnight success." --Diana Rankin, writer and public speaker

"Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes." --Oscar Wilde,Irish playwright, novelist and poet

"It is never too late -- in fiction or in life -- to revise." --Nancy Thayer,novelist

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him." --Booker T. Washington, educator and author

"I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention." --Diane Sawyer, TV journalist

"How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy." --Paul Sweeney, author

"When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy." --Samuel Goldwyn, film producer

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." --Jack London, writer

"Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, 'Make me feel important.'" --Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics

"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." --Frederick Douglass, abolitionist, writer and speaker

"There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." --Peter F. Drucker, writer, professor and consultant

"It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it." --Albert Einstein, German-born Swiss-American physicist

The Devil Came on Horseback

2007-07-20T10:16:00.000-06:00

Last night a friend and I attended the Windrider Forum to see documentary film, The Devil Came on Horseback.

Former US Marine Captain Brian Steidle was hired to monitor a ceasefire in the Darfur region of Western Sudan.

Communicating to loved ones back home in 2004, he wrote:

"I'm afraid that we will be hearing about Sudan for a long time to come."

While the tragedy continues (it’s already claimed 400,000 lives and displaced 2.5 million people over the past few years), it’s surprising how little it’s being talked about, and how many people don’t know what’s going on there. I confess I’d been ignorant about it until now.

The stunning documentary follows Steidle, armed only with a camera, pen and paper, as he joins the African Union as a military observer in the heart of the conflicts—an area inaccessible to journalists. There he directly witnesses and documents the brutal, systematic annihilation of black African Sudanese by the Arab militia group, the Janjaweed. Certain that if only the West knew of these atrocities they would be compelled to act, Steidle returns home to America with over a thousand explicit photographs and begins an impassioned awareness campaign.

The Devil Came on Horseback is a deeply affecting story of one man's life-changing transition from witness to activist and comes as a pressing reminder that the Darfur genocide continues to this day—and something must be done to stop it.

It’s hard to know what to do with such a huge crisis. I’d suggest first seeing the film and learning more about the situation. Click here for more.

Then, decide what your role is in preventing this genocide from continuing.

“More Different” Small Town Sunday

2007-07-15T12:45:00.000-06:00

Inspired by KLerch’s “Small Town Sunday” posts, I’ve decided to follow suit with one (or maybe more to come) of my own, since I’ve recently moved to small town Monument, up the road 17 miles from Colorado Springs.

For years I’ve been actively involved in a contemporary community—a majority of whom are twentysomethings—which meets on Sunday nights. While I plan to remain committed there, I think it’s beneficial to experience something different once in a while.

My venture today brought me to Saint Matthias Episcopal Church, a small brick building with a red door and windows overlooking Pikes Peak. (I would have taken pictures, but I can’t find my camera’s battery charger!)I chose this one because of its location, only half a mile from the house, and a desire to experience more of a liturgical tradition. But this morning as I started to get ready, I hesitated, started talking myself out of it.

“There are a lot of other things I could be doing,” I reasoned in my head. Really, I was a little nervous. What should I wear? What will this place be like? Will I stick out? Will people stare at me and treat me like an outsider?

It takes a lot of courage, I realized, to walk into a new church by yourself. Because I felt afraid was all the more reason to go. And as I walked to the church (how fun is that, to not have to drive?), the sun shining down on a beautiful day, I started to get excited for this new experience.

I was greeted at the door with a smile and a 16-page bulletin/program/whatchacallit.
I sat down on the wooden pew and observed my surroundings. The walls made of rich-looking wood, each stained glass window featuring a saint. Joining me on the pew, a white-haired man who held his bulletin/program/whatchacallit right in front of his face, next to his nose, so he could read it. Half-a-dozen other elderly couples, and just as many middle-aged, some teenagers, and a gaggle of children.

Today happened to be children’s Sunday, so the Reverend sported a brightly colored sash, and invited the kiddos up for an interactive sermon about rules and rewards.
He asked, “Who makes the rules?”One enthusiastic child piped up, “Our teachers, our mothers, and Jesus!” The colorful Rev. told the children there are lots and lots of rules in the Bible and they agreed, “Sometimes they don’t seem very fun.”

Referencing our reading from Deuteronomy 30:9-14, “For the LORD will again take delight in prospering you…when you obey the Lord your God by observing his commandments,” the Rev. said there are rewards to following the rules.

Another reward, referring to Luke 10:25-37, he said, is eternal life. “But you little people don’t worry about that. You don’t think about that until you’re 50.”

He added that Jesus said there are too many rules, so many we can’t keep track of them all, and the greatest command is to love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind; and the second like it, love your neighbor.

Love God and love people—seems simple enough. Though adult life introduces many complexities of living out the God-glorifying life, I would probably be better off if I could keep that top-of-mind as a personal mission.

There was no other sermon to the congregation. The service proceeded with liturgy—recitation of the Nicene Creed, prayers of the people (including 44 by name) hymns, a prayer of confession, offering, and communion.

There’s something about that kind of ordered service that draws me into worship that a contemporary service doesn’t. There’s a sense of reverential awe. The organ playing and the congregation singing “Be Thou My Vision” almost sent me to tears, as did reading out loud Psalm 25:6: “Remember not the sins of my youth and my transgressions.”

God is the same amazing Savior in this church as He is in all the other churches I’ve been in. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is God whether I acknowledge and obey Him, or not. And yet, because He is God, I want His rules and give thanks for His rewards.

Skydiving

2007-06-14T12:09:00.000-06:00

“The life of faith has to do with extraordinary experience; the life of faith has to do with ordinary experience. Neither cancels out the other; neither takes precedence over the other…The life of faith has to do with the glories of discovering far more in life than we ever dreamed of; the life of faith has to do with doggedly putting one flat foot in front of the other, wondering what the point of it all is. Neither cancels out the other; neither takes precedence over the other.” –Eugene Peterson, The Message Remix, Wisdom intro

Faith is often likened to taking a flying leap—something like jumping out of an airplane and hoping your parachute inflates. I like this quote by Eugene Peterson because it illustrates that faith also happens in the three hours you’re waiting to get in the airplane, and it happens after you come down from the thrill of the ride.

I went skydiving for the first time Sunday, June 10, to celebrate my best friend Nadia’s graduation. Words do little for me to describe the AMAZING experience, so here are some photos.

Nadia and I get excited to jump.

Still excited as I load the plane with my instructor, Adi.Nadia heads out with her photographer.

Ready or not, here I go!Grabbing my photographer's hand so she could spin us around.

There goes the parachute.

Watching Nadia land.
Do I look happy and windblown?

It's official: I'm running for one!

2007-06-05T12:33:00.001-06:00

I just did one of the more scary things in my life: I asked people for money.

After prayerful consideration, I've decided to participate in Children's HopeChest's Run for One program. (For more background info. I blogged about it here.)

I sent out an e-mail to the staff at my workplace asking them to consider donating. I'll be asking many more people in the future and praying hard for God to provide.

I’ve committed to personally raise $4,000 for Children’s HopeChest, in order to run the September 2, 2007 half-marathon in Virginia Beach and more importantly, raise funds for an orphan.

I’ve run a marathon and several half-marathons before, but I’ve never raised any significant amount of support. So, this is several thousand steps of faith for me. I pray God will show up in big and unexpected ways!

Outside Canon City

2007-05-24T08:47:00.000-06:00

Shelf Road: check it out for a variety of exhilerating climbs.

Red Canyon Park: after our bike ride, Katie and Becca enjoy the mixture of sun and rain.

Sun+rain=beautiful rainbows.
Amazingly, this rainbow was not visible with sunglasses.

Tip for life #1: If you want to see a rainbow (hope), take off your glasses (dark-colored, negative perspective).

Tip #2: Never lick a cactus popsicle.

Tip #3: If you're in Canon City, definitely check out the stunning scenery at Red Canyon and take a couple friends.

Nellie grad weekend pics

2007-05-22T08:44:00.000-06:00

Family reflections

2007-05-21T20:35:00.000-06:00

My only living grandparent is 89 years old and he’s seen five grand-children graduate from college: my brother Olin, me, my cousins Bell, Herb, and now Nellie.

It’s been years since all of us have been together. Though we grew up only hours apart (a short distance in Montana terms), now we’re spread out by states and restricted by the bounds of adult responsibility. Work often prevents Christmastime travel, and group visits become fewer and farther between. None of us knows if the next time we all gather will be a happy or sad event—a wedding or a funeral.

But we were happy Mother’s Day weekend, excited for Nellie to start her new job in Alaska after graduation. Before I came back to Colorado I got to visit Herb’s apartment in Seattle. He showed me videos from 1986 he recently converted to DVD.

On screen I saw the five cousins out in the woods roasting hot dogs. Olin, the oldest, at 8 years, tended the fire, poking it, gazing deeply into its blaze, oblivious to the rest of us. Nellie, the youngest, at 1, sat with a bare bottom sucking her thumb on her mom’s lap.

Pictures help remind us of memories, but they don’t capture the way our younger selves moved, talked, related, and reacted. Now, 21 years later, it was amazing to see how we still have the same facial expressions and mannerisms (although we’ve decreased the likelihood of picking certain body parts in public).

We are still the children we were—sometimes expectant, sometimes reluctant, we bicker, we get excited, we try, we fail, we cry, we try again. We grow up to be bigger versions of ourselves. I still want the same things—to belong, to feel safe, and to be known and loved.

Uncle Monte asked “Who’s this?” when he pointed the camera at us. I said seriously behind my blonde scraggled hair falling in front of my face: “I’m Carrie Jo, and this is Bell.” She said with a big toothy grin, “Daddy, you know who I am!”

Yes, he knows, but he wants to hear it from us.

Back then I would tell my name, where I lived, what I liked do. But I did not know then who I would be today, and I still don’t know who I will be tomorrow or what will happen in another 10 or 20 years.

Though unknowing is a vulnerable position, I don’t think I’d move into knowing if I could. As we glance back at the past, may we remember that our Creator knows who we are, and we can trust Him to help us write a good story that’s so much fun to look back and see—whether it’s at age 89 or 29.

8 Random Things

2007-05-10T07:32:00.000-06:00

I didn’t know there would be so much tagging involved with blogging. It’s fun though.
I’ve always liked tag. Thanks Tiffany.

The rules of this game:
Each person starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their eight things and post the rules. At the end of your blog, tag eight people and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

So, here are 8 random things about me. (It’s funny that my blog’s name is It’s NOT About Me. Just keep in mind it’s God who’s weaving together the seemingly random details of my life.)

1. Montana is my birthplace and was home until I went to college in Spokane, WA. Even though I feel very at home in Colorado, I will always call MT “home.” Boating on the Missouri River is a favorite activity when visiting my parents.

2. When I was younger I wanted to be an architect and interior designer, or an equestrian. I traveled to England after I graduated from high school to shadow a professional, which opened my eyes to the positives of a career in journalism. Now instead of horses, I ride bikes and sit on inanimate sheep statues.

3. My dream job since college has been to work for Brio magazine for teen girls. I thought freelancing for them would be a good in. Then I thought Focus on the Family Institute would be a good in. Neither of these have landed me a job, but I’m thankful for these experiences. God has me where I am for a reason (I just don’t quite know what it is!)

4. My first car was a Buick Century, which I bought with money I made from selling my cow. Seriously! When it broke down (the car, not the cow) I got a Buick Skylark. It had this weird quirk where it would stall at a stop light and lurch through intersections. The paint started chipping, so we peeled it all off thinking we’d paint it some day. My dad fixed the engine and still drives the unpainted car. (It actually doesn’t look too bad). I got fed up with it and acquired my first car payment in 2003 for a 1999 Subaru Outback. I loved that car for its functionality and versatility. I payed it off and it kept me safe in a bad accident, but was totaled in Dec. 2006. Now I have Jade.

5. I like to test the limits, push the boundaries, try new things, and be adventurous. A goal in this arena is to go skydiving this year.

6. I love photography and camping and would like to do both more often. Photo credits: KLerch

7. I’ve hiked three fourtneeners in the four years I’ve lived here: Uncomagre, Elbert, and Pikes Peak (which I’ve hiked three times—each of which was miserable, yet memorable).

8. Sprint triathlons are super-fun and I’m training for some this summer. Photo credit: Jennifer Janis

The joy of seeing your favorite author

2007-05-08T18:11:00.000-06:00

"Reading Lamott is like having a chat with one of the angels, a smarter, wittier one." The Denver Post

Anne Lamott is probably my favorite living author.
And I get to see her speak at my alma mater (Lord willing)!

She will read from her works on Saturday, May 12, at 7:30 p.m. in Cowles Auditorium at Whitworth in Spokane, WA.

My favorite of hers is Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, a guide to writing and the challenges of a writer's life; next favorite is Traveling Mercies, a collection of autobiographical essays on faith. Lamott's new essay collection, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith, was released in March 2007, and I have yet to read it.

I don't agree with every viewpoint she has, but it's true that Lamott writes and speaks with self-effacing humor and ruthless honesty. Her books are often about loss – loss of loved ones and loss of personal control. She doesn’t try to sugar-coat sadness, frustration and disappointment, but tells her stories with honesty and compassion.

Photo courtesy: Salon.com

This is me in the morning

2007-05-08T08:39:00.000-06:00

So, I guess this whole idea started with Lisa Samson at Author Intrustion.

She says: "Are you brave enough to post your face without makeup? Will you take the morning face challenge? The internet is a place of smoke and mirrors. We can put forward anything we want, any face, any history, any tales of gore and glory.
Women as they reach middle age mourn what once was and what will never be again. Some of us will never be rolled into an operating room or have a hypodermic needle stuck into our face, shooting in a form of bochilism that will paralyze our muscles to a more youthful glow. Botox anyone?
A while ago, the ragamuffin diva and I were chatting on the phone. She said, "I pray for the grace to age gracefully, and let the young women have their day." What a beautiful outlook. A long time ago, another great blogger, Katy at fallible.com told me, "I just want to look pleasant."
Will you take the challenge? Will you post who you really are? Without embellishment, as the morning sun, or the alarm, or a husband or a child sees you when you first open your eyes to meet the day? And if not, ask yourself why not? If you will, will you spread the word on your own blog so that other women will have the confidence to let the young women receive their glory as we grow in wisdom. Let me know if you choose to take the morning face challenge. Here goes. This is me. Almost 43. Barefaced with crazy hair. Who else will join me?"

This is me in the morning. Like my $1 star pjs?

Morning Face Challenge

2007-05-07T12:35:00.000-06:00

Rachelle at Seeking First His Kingdom has tagged me for the Morning Face Challenge.

Thank you Rachelle for encouraging me to get back into the blogosphere. It's been difficult because I feel like I don't have any spiritual or emotional makeup on. Not much pretty to say or offer.

It's funny because my friend Katie and I were just talking about how we each thought the other looked great right when she woke up. So I tag Katie. This may not be too difficult for her because she doesn't make a habit of covering her beautiful face with makeup.

It's been one of her New Year's resolutions to try wearing it more and mine to be OK with wearing it less.

I've already had my coffee and applied eye shadow and mascara today--so I'll take the Morning Face Challenge tomorrow. And I plan to go makeup-less throughout the day. However, I probably should brush my hair.

Goodbye Chewy

2007-05-07T12:18:00.000-06:00

God has been engraining Psalm 90:12 into me this year:

"Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom."

Last week a dear coworker/friend let us know he is dying.

Then, Friday, my baby, my dog, Chewy passed into what I hope is dog heaven.

If anyone deserves to be there, I think it's her. She lasted 14 years despite having her hips broken twice-- amazing for a lab/German Shepard.

She was my first puppy and she kept me going with her smiley face and wagging tail.

In my teen years she licked away tears from my face when things were stressful at school and with friends who didn't love me nearly as unconditionally as she did.

When I went off to college and then came home for visits, she never forgot me and didn't hold it against me for leaving. Every time I came home she would rush to greet me. Even as she got older she did her best to go running with me--even if it meant she couldn't walk the next day.

I wish I had the puppy pictures to show you, but these are the last couple times I got to spend with her:

Not that she could ever be replaced, but I'm looking forward to getting a dog here in Colorado.

Here are some quotes I like about dogs:

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only
will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. –Samuel Butler

We never really own a dog as much as he owns us. –Gene Hill

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened. –Anatole France

Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative. –Mordecai Siegal

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. –Christopher Morley

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. –Gilda Radner

A legacy left well

2007-04-17T08:59:00.000-06:00

There are no words for describing the grief felt by the loss of a dear woman, Sheryl DeWitt.
I came to know Sheryl while at Focus on the Family Institute. She had a profound impact on me and thousands of others.
If you visit the Web site set up to keep everyone informed about her cancer battle, you will find hundreds of messages describing how Sheryl impacted lives. She imparted Jesus' transforming love on every person she met. What an amazing woman, who left a legacy that will live on far beyond her short earthly years.

Easter

2007-04-09T12:15:00.000-06:00

Jesus is risen indeed! This is why we celebrate.
And celebrate we did. (We is my friend, Katie, and me).

Here are some photo highlights, in no particular order.
Aunt Ruby's Trunk--shopping the $1 rack, hike to Hanging Lake, decorating Easter Eggs, cute dogs, coffee shop stops, visiting Doc Holliday's grave.

Check out Katie's blog to see more pics and to read about our small town Sunday dinner stop.

Colorado: You never know what you're gonna get

2007-03-29T10:32:00.000-06:00

I love Colorado!
Though sometimes it can be annoying that you never know what the weather is going to be like, that keeps it interesting.
One day it's foggy/misty. The next day is snows, then rains.
The next day it's like summer and I get a sunburn while rock climbing and biking.

I'm also a big fan of house/pet-sitting. I don't actually sit on the pets, but they like to sit on my stuff. Zeke seems to have a liking for outdoor gear.

Well-needed Rest

2007-03-29T10:08:00.000-06:00

Last night I became so frustrated I was in tears as I tried to write an article for my National Guard duty. After talking with a friend on the phone, I decide to give up for the evening and picked up the latest Brio magazine from my bag. I flipped through it, continuing to ponder why I haven’t been able to get a job there.

I don’t usually read the “In box” section, but a headline caught my eye: “Well-needed rest.” I thought, “That’s what I really need” right now.

I continued to read the letter to the editor:
“I just read the November article ‘Rest,’”

I realized she was mentioning the article I wrote, so I read on:

“and it was just what I needed! To be honest, I was feeling guilty about reading Brio instead of doing homework. This article reminded me that I can spend some quiet time on other things and that I don’t always have to go, Go, GO. It was so relevant o the moment, I almost cried.”
–Cassie from San Jose, Calif.

Reading her letter was so relevant I almost cried (again). I can’t say how much I needed that encouragement that writing can and has made a difference in people’s lives.

Writing that article should have made more of an impact on my life (I’d like to be able to take my own advice to really rest), so I’m glad it has helped others.

Reading someone’s comment about how the writing I did affected them is much more meaningful than seeing my name and article in print.

My encouragement to you—if you read something that makes a positive impact in your life, please tell that person. It may be the spark that keeps them going. And if you're a writer or a blogger, keep going--you're making a difference!

Encouragement brings new life

2007-03-29T09:26:00.000-06:00

As pressure mounted and stress increased about a week ago I decided to take the day off work and go for a fun little biking adventure with KLerch.
A beautiful spring day, we hit a new trail with a map and plenty of energy and optimism. Little did we know (although we probably should have learned by now) how easy it is to get lost.
After taking a wrong turn, rather than go back we decided upon a "proposed" trail. This means no trail at all, but you can make your own.
However, it's very difficult, unless you have a chain saw, to make a trail through dry brush. At first we just thought we could walk our bikes up the hill. The trail where we were headed was visible--just up ahead! Or was it? "Well, if we can just get up to that ridge, we'll be able to see."
Soon, pushing bikes through brush became impossible, so we carried them--often above our heads.

I don't know about Katie, but I started to get exhausted and I wanted to just sit down and quit.
She however, climbed up a tree to be better able to see. That's what friends are for (at least partially), to give us perspective and encouragement, to help point us in the right direction.

We continued bush-wacking. (I rediscovered a fondness for mixing up my consonants: book washing). Intermingled with laughter at our unfortunate plight, her enthusiasm and vigor that we would eventually make it to the trail gave me hope.
And sure enough, though the journey getting there was difficult, we made it!
When our actual bike ride began, I was already pretty pooped out, but managed to get a second wind.
Seeing new spring flowers popping out of dry ground was like a loving greeting-card encouragement from God. They reminded me that beauty and hope can spring up in the midst of the parched landscape. When life seems difficult and I just want to go into hibernation, God gives me glimpses of spring time. And I want to keep going--to see what's up over the next ridge. The journey is an adventure, and the miserable parts help make it memorable!

Life is good?

2007-03-19T09:43:00.000-06:00

I'm a big fan of the "Life is good" brand.
However, I've always thought it should be revised to: Life is hard, God is good.

My roommate recently e-mailed me the lyrics to this Martina McBride song, "Anyway." They go along great with the concept that life is hard, but God is good.

Check it out:

You can spend your whole life building something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach and you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway
This world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe that tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons, and in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway
God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in that tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway, sing it anyway
I sing, I dream, I love, anyway...

May our lives be filled with this kind of courage.
And as we step out in faith, hope, and love, may our courage light up the lives of others, as, "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

GMA coming soon

2007-03-15T14:49:00.000-06:00

This post really should go on my carrieAtune blog, since it's related to music, but I already have it here and don't know if it's possible to post to two blogs at once. Anyone have a clue? I'm debating whether to consolidate blogs, since perhaps that would be easier and I don't update the other as often. Thoughts?

Anyway, back to my post.

I've been busily scheduling interviews for my week in Nashville, April 21-25 for the Gospel Music Assoc. Week and Dove Awards.

So far, I'm most excited about talking with Mandisa, former American Idol contestant who made it to the final rounds in the fifth season. Mandisa will release her debut album (Sparrow/EMI CMG) in May and book, IdolEyes (Tyndale House) in June.
IdolEyes is co-authored with Angela Hunt and gives a view into Mandisa’s Idol journey, including how judge Simon Cowell’s derogatory remarks opened up opportunities to share with women about her food addiction and God’s loving acceptance.
Mandisa is no newcomer to music. She has also traveled across the nation with various worship conferences and women’s events and retreats (Integrity Music, Living Proof Live featuring Beth Moore, LifeWay Christian Women’s Conventions) as a worship leader. Check out her MySpace to listen to her powerful voice.

I'm also excited to catch up with Chris Rice.
Check out his Web site: http://www.chrisrice.com/, which has links to his blog (good thoughts--but lots of pictures of food lately, so only visit while not hungry) and music (my favorite song is "Lemonade.") Briefly about him: Nine years ago listeners were introduced to Chris Rice and his introspective lyrics with his first release Deep Enough to Dream. Since then, he has sold more than 1.5 million units and has had 11 No. 1 radio singles. His debut venture on INO/Eb+Flo Records (“Amusing”) was a hit with media and radio, including Mainstream AC radio with a Top 5 Hit (“When Did You Fall In Love”). Chris is really excited about going into the studio again with longtime friend, producer Monroe Jones. His next project is set to release this June.

While I'm at GMA, I try to interview lesser-known, up-and-coming bands, rather than the ones everyone loves, so more to come about the newbies!

Run for One, and then some

2007-03-12T15:07:00.000-06:00

Children’s HopeChest (http://www.hopechest.org/) is an organization I’ve been hearing a lot about recently, and God has used them and other circumstances to put orphans on my heart.

The organization recently announced the formation and launch of the Run for One training team which will raise funds and awareness to support orphans in need living in Russia and Swaziland. This year, the team will complete the Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in Virginia Beach, VA, on September 2, 2007.

Each athlete who signs up for this program will run to benefit one child who is currently participating in a Children’s HopeChest program for orphans. Children’s HopeChest will provide team members with encouragement, monthly training plans, and professional coaching by Lisa Rainsberger, winner of the 1985 Boston Marathon and world class running coach. Rainsberger and her daughter, Meghan, are also participating in the race and raising funds to “run for one.”

Anyone who knows me knows I love to run. In the past I’ve run for fun, mostly for one—myself. After I ran the Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in Phoenix, AZ last year I developed sciatica, which prohibited most running. Then a car accident in December 2006 smashed all plans of near-future races.

However, with good chiropractic care, massage therapy, and what I consider a miracle from God, I’m feeling almost at 100%. I’ve been swimming and biking, and even running with little pain. (It’s sitting that’s still a problem—but I can deal with that.)

So, now I’m presented with this opportunity—and it makes me so excited!

I’ve never raised $4,000 before, and that’s probably the most intimidating factor.

I would really appreciate prayer and guidance whether this is where I should focus my time and energy. We’re having a staff informational meeting next week, and CHC is looking for commitments close to that date. Another factor I’m weighing is the desire to go on my first mission trip this year. Can I do both? If I had to choose one opportunity (I don’t have a specific trip picked out, but was considering one with CHC), which should it be?

Your input is appreciated.

Here’s a bit more about Run for One and CHC:
Run for One is being organized in remembrance of Katya Toschakova, a 15-year-old orphan who took her life after entering the outside world without guidance or hope following her departure from a Russian orphanage.

Children’s HopeChest establishes programs for younger children living in orphanages and older children, like Katya, who are navigating the transition into adulthood. These are abandoned children who will never be adopted into families.

HopeChest programs give them ongoing guidance, support, skills, and hope. Without such intervention, these orphans fall into crime, prostitution, drug abuse, alcoholism, or, like Katya, suicide.

Quotes: Living in Hope

2007-03-12T11:39:00.000-06:00

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.
—Barbara Kingsolver

If, every day, I dare to remember that I am here on loan, that this house, this hillside, these minutes are all leased to me, not given, I will never despair.
—Erica Jong

How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are on the inside of us.
—Park Cousins

There is nothing like a dream to create the future.
—Victor Hugo

What I like to do on my lunch break

2007-03-07T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful for 60-degree weather in March, a bike, the ability to ride it, a workplace with flexible hours, mud, showers in the workplace, a great biking buddy (who likes mud even more that me--see it in her teeth!) And what am I doing in this picture? Guess you had to be there.

Mocha Club

2007-02-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

I decided to give up trips to Starbucks for Lent--and to send that money to a good cause.

I just joined a web site called Mocha Club, where you can give up the cost of 2 mochas a month, or $7, to help orphans, refugees, and those affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa.

Did you know that 6300 people die every day from AIDS? Here is what blew my mind - in All of Africa, $7 gives clean water to 7 Africans for a year. In Kibera Kenya, $7 gives 3 meals in a day for 9 orphans. In Bulawayo Zimbabwe, $7 would put two kids in school for a term. It's those kind of things that made me realize this is something I can do. So I've felt convicted to move from the talking to doing category. You can join my online team by clicking HERE and we can keep inviting friends so the team continues to grow at $7 per person.

They also give detailed updates once a month as to what the money is doing in Africa.

And do you know of MATT WERTZ? Here's a cool incentive he's offering - if you join our team now, you'll also get a FREE download of his entire new album, Everything In Between. Cool, huh?

Let me know what you think.

Free pancakes today, Fat Tuesday

2007-02-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

From KRDO news:

IHOP is doing what it can to fatten you up on this "Fat Tuesday".

It's National Pancake Day and IHOP is giving away a free short stack (three good sized cakes) of their buttermilk pancakes--for a good cause.

IHOP is hoping those who come in to get the free pancakes will donate money toward the Childrens Miracle Network. The non-profit helps sick children get the medical treatment they need by treating everything from pediatric aids to cancer to a child injured in a car accident. If you do donate today there's even more of an incentive than free pancakes. "We hope that they donate. They get free pancakes no matter what they do but we hope they come in and donate and if they do we also give them a 20 percent bounce back coupon to come in and see us again." says Patty Tennant Operations Director of local IHOPs.

Last year IHOPs around the country raised more than 300-thousand dollars for Childrens Miracle Network. This year the goal is to raise more than 500-thousand dollars.

To get the free pancakes you can go by any IHOP TODAY between 7 am and 10 pm.

Beware of early daylight-saving time

2007-02-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

Congress lengthened this year’s daylight saving time by four weeks in the name of energy efficiency. The decision is likely to affect numerous computer systems preset to change the hour on the traditional date.

Many people aren’t even aware of the change, which takes effect Mar. 11. Devices such as cell phones should automatically update. But Microsoft cautions that some of its older products—including Windows XP SP1 and Windows NT4—will require manual updates. The company’s Web site provides detailed instructions on how to update various products. As a fallback, Microsoft says customers should double-check meetings scheduled electronically during March and April 2007.

One more reason to stay away from Peter Pan

2007-02-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

A salmonella outbreak that has slowly grown to nearly 300 cases in 39 states since August has been linked to tainted peanut butter, the Assoc. Press reported.

The Food and Drug Administration warned consumers not to eat certain jars of Peter Pan or Great Value peanut butter because of the risk of contamination.

Officials with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said they believe this to be the first salmonella outbreak associated with peanut butter in U.S. history. How salmonella got into peanut butter is still under investigation.

I am a HUGE fan of peanut butter, so this is kind of scary. However, I'm kind of a peanut butter snob and won't eat the kinds like Peter Pan with lots of sugar and hydrogenated oils. So I see this salmonella incident as just one more reason to stay away!

The affected jars have a product code on the lid that begins with the number "2111," made by ConAgra in a single facility in Sylvester, Ga., the FDA said.

The largest number of salmonella cases were reported in New York, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Tennessee, and Missouri. Symptoms of salmonella can include diarrhea, fever, dehydration, abdominal pain and vomiting. Fun!

Starbucks new promotion: designer t-shirts

2007-02-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

To show customers how easy it is to customize their beverage of choice, Starbucks created a new campaign--letting fans choose drink elements incorporated into the design of the shirts, including drink size and flavors.

The cost and shipping are free. However, only a limited number of shirts are available each day.

Starbucks offers more than 5,000 drink combinations.

The campaign runs through Feb. 28 and is designed to ease the intimidation factor of ordering a beverage and get customers to try something new.

Fashion designer Mychael Knight has been tasked to create icons that will be placed on the T-shirts. MyStarbuckstshirt.com includes a link to a list of popular drinks and celebrity favorites and details about Knight.

Life's Story

2007-02-13T09:50:00.000-07:00

Last night a friend and I went to the $1.50 theater (less money than renting!) to see Stranger Than Fiction, which has become a new favorite. The main character, Harold Crick suddenly starts hearing his life being narrated by the author who’s controlling it. “Little did he know” of his “impending doom.”

When he starts to accept that he’s going to die, Harold starts living the life he’s always wanted. I walked out of the theater challenged to live—really live the rest of my days. I don’t know that I’m going to die soon, but I do know my days are numbered.

I’m glad I know and trust my narrator to create my life story in the most loving way possible.

This morning I read Proverbs and Psalms 13.
Proverbs 13:12 (Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life, NLT) is often quoted, but it particularly struck me in the aftermath of yesterday.

I walked over to the Focus on the Family bookstore and picked up a Brio magazine. I realized this was the issue my sixth (I think?) article appeared—the one they used as part of my job interview last summer.

Once again I questioned why God has placed insurmountable obstacles in front of me and working at what I believe to be my dream job. And my best friend is going on a mission trip with them this summer, but I can’t go because of my current job’s demands.

However, I was encouraged when I read an article in our magazine’s “Why We Do What We Do” section, in which the author had a mission from God, but He kept saying “wait” or “not now” until 12 years later when circumstances lined up and she was ready.

Psalm 13 says: “O Lord, how long will you forget me? …Restore the sparkle to my eyes or I will die…But I trust in your unfailing love.” (1,3,5)

Feeling for Bones review

2007-02-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

Bethany Pierce / Moody Publishers
Subject: Contemporary Fiction
p $12.99 ISBN: 9780802462886

When her dad loses his pastor job and the family relocates under his aunt’s mercy, 16-year-old Olivia watches her surroundings spin out of control. Money is scarce, dad stops attending church, mother becomes more controlling, they constantly argue, and she has to share a room with 6-year-old sister Callapher.
Olivia becomes obsessed with controlling her calorie consumption and pasting idyllic images on the bedroom wall. “Every page was another promise that life could become what it should, that I could be beautiful,” she says.
Near-tragedy and a death bring the family closer together, and Olivia slowly learns to accept love and care from her mother and her heavenly Father—who in the final pages becomes real to her and miraculously heals her disorder.
Recommend to young women and their mothers searching for a palatable tale of a teenager’s striving for beauty and struggle with anorexia.

Too skinny

2007-02-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

photo: Bernat Armangue / AP

There’s been more in the news recently about models and actresses being “too skinny,” when previously the message has been “you can never be too skinny or too rich.”

It’s a well-known fact among womankind that models set an unrealistic standard—and the quest to be thin can be deadly. The most recent wakeup call came when Brazilian model Ana Carolina Reston died in November 2006 at age 21. She was 5 feet 8 inches tall and weighed just 88 pounds, and had a BMI (body mass index) of 13.4.

Italian designers in December agreed to health and age guidelines for runway models, The Associated Press reported. Now New York City Council member Gail Brewer wants fashion houses to ban any model with a body mass index of less than 18.5 -- the cutoff for the World Health Organization's definition of "normal." (up to 24.9)

Brewer said she wants models to be educated on nutrition and designers to encourage healthful lifestyles. "We want the designers to offer some clothes that are a little bit more robust," she also told CNN, "and we certainly don't want people under the age of 16 to be modeling.
Models are often women’s mirrors—who they compare themselves to. I’m not saying this is how it should be, but I certainly think it’s time for culture to start recognizing the impossible and unhealthy ideal that’s presented on the runways.

Models don’t need more education about nutrition. I think they know how to eat, but they choose not to because they’re not allowed to if they want to keep their profession. The rules of the profession need to change, so models portray an image of beauty and health.
However, if women want to see an image of beauty and health, perhaps fashion models are not the best role models in the first place. I want to look to models like Mary, Elizabeth, Ruth, and Esther (in the Bible).

Younger women join convents

2007-02-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

From The Washington Times
By Jocelyne Zablit

One was a successful corporate lawyer, another a Mercedes-Benz driving businesswoman and a third a Navy officer who steered warships and hunted down cocaine smugglers in South America.
They are among a growing number of women in their 20s and 30s across the United States who have shed high-powered jobs, career ambitions and boyfriends for a nun's veil and a life devoted to the church. Though the trend is by no means spreading like wildfire, several Roman Catholic communities throughout the country say they have noticed a surprising and welcome phenomenon in the past decade as younger women join their ranks.
"The inquiries in recent years have been coming from younger and younger women, most of them in their early to mid-20s," said Sister Agnes Mary, mother superior at the Sisters of Life community in New York.
The Catholic community, which counted seven members when it was founded in 1991, has grown to 52 women who live in six convents scattered throughout the New York area. A seventh convent is planned within two years.
"I think young women are searching for something, and culture is not giving it to them, so they are turning to God," said Sister Mary Karen, 33, the superior at the Sisters of Life Formation House in the Bronx, where 18 women are being groomed for a life of obedience, poverty and chastity. They include a Yale graduate, a former Navy officer, a former medical student, an opera singer and a Web designer.
All have college degrees, are well-traveled and were more cosmopolitan than cloistered growing up.
They have abandoned cell phones, IPods, daily Starbucks runs and, in some cases, fiances for dormlike rooms, or "cells" as they call them, and a wardrobe that consists of a veil and habit. "I was in the Navy for a total of 10 years because I wanted to do something great with my life, but I realized I could never be passionate about it," said Angela Karalekas, 28, who entered the convent in September and will receive her habit and new religious name in June. "I was raised Catholic, but my decision has been hard on my father and three brothers."

Answer me this: What's the appeal?

Stronger Than You Think review

2007-01-22T14:59:00.000-07:00

Kim Gaines Eckert / IVP Books (InterVarsity Press)
Subject: Pastoral Helps; Women
p $15 ISBN:9780830833733
Women who long for wholeness, admit something is missing, and are willing to engage on a journey toward emotional healing are stronger than they think, Gaines Eckert says. As a practicing counselor, she uses helpful examples and real-life situations. Her realistic approach offers tips, suggestions, activities, and images to assist readers on the journey, but acknowledges there’s no quick fix to life’s deep pains and difficulties.
“God’s intent is not to help us avoid pain and maximize pleasure,” she says. Rather, God intends to help us grow up in Christ, as we find wholeness in community with Him and others.
Stronger Than You Think is ideal for group study, as each chapter concludes with “Tools for the Journey,” and the concluding section is dedicated to discussion/reflection questions. Readers who take the message to heart will find Stronger Than You Think worth far more than the suggested retail price.

Practical Justice review

2007-01-22T14:31:00.000-07:00

Kevin Blue / Likewise (InterVarsity Press)
Subject: Chr. Ministry/Missions
p $13 ISBN: 0830833684
Practical Justice exposes the disparity that exists when Christians show little concern for injustice. It calls Christians to service—even if it means discomfort or suffering.
Blue doesn’t pretend serving the poor equates earthly benefit, though he says, “no act of love is wasted.” You aren’t the beggar’s judge, the author says: “Let us not be fooled into not giving for fear of being fooled.”
The book follows through on the title’s promise of practicality. Many useful examples are provided, including fasting with a friend from entertainment for a month and giving what you would have spent to/for someone in need.
This challenging read will spur justice-minded Christians to do more for the poor and may encourage the apathetic to action. Practical Justice is one of the first from the Likewise line, named after Jesus’ command to “Go and do likewise.”

Tagged

2007-01-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

I was reading Margaret Feinberg’s blog today and she said, “if you're reading this consider yourself tagged,” which means I get to answer these questions here, and if you’re reading this, and you have a blog, consider yourself tagged.

1. What’s the most fun work you’ve ever done?
Writing magazine articles, reviewing books, music, and movies.

2. What's one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did?
Running. I love it, but it’s not worth the sciatic pain it now provides me.

3. What's one thing you’ve always wanted to do but keep putting it off?
Write a book.

4. What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why?
Learn: Music—how to play the piano and harmonica (I’ve never had a talent for music, but I’d like to conquer my fear of being incompetent at it) and how to fly an airplane (I’ve loved my experiences as a passenger in 2-seaters, and would love the thrill and challenge of being the operator—plus, it runs in the family).

Become better at: swing dancing (it’s fun and I want to be able to dance with anyone) and swimming (it’s a great workout and my missing link to being better at triathlons).

5. If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it be and what would you hope to learn?
If Jesus isn't an option, I might say Leonardo da Vinci. I would hope to learn how to use my brain and abilities to their full capacity.

6. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you?
Caring, beautiful, encouraging

7. Now list two more words you wish described you…
fearless, confident

8. What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes)Writing, relationships, health

9. Write–and answer–one more question that YOU would ask someone (with answer in three sentences max)

What is one step you can take toward doing that thing you’ve been putting off?

I hope that the fiction-writing class I’m taking will help me get closer to writing the book that is in me.

Wine and friends improve with age

2007-01-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Abbie!

Overwhelmed

2007-01-15T16:22:00.001-07:00

I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed with life because there’s so much going on. And there's so much more I want to do in this year, and during this lifetime.

I bet you can relate. Here are some things that may help:

1. Surround yourself with people who will speak truth to you. Select a group of close, intimate friends who know you. Don’t even try to fool them, but allow them to tell you who you are, who God is—and let that transform your life.

When conversing with friends this weekend about resolutions, one of them asked if we could suggest resolutions for each other. I gleaned valuable insights from these dear friends’ suggestions. Another question: What gift do you feel you have, but haven’t been exercising? Resolutions often fixate on what we’re not good at, but what if we focused on some talents/skills/gifts we’d like to improve upon?

2. Make a commitment to cut the excess baggage out of your life.
What is most important to you? A leadership principle called the 80/20 rule says 20% of the things in your life create 80% of your success. And 80% of the things you spend your time on only give you 20% of your successes. Find the top 20% of the things you are good at that yield the most results and cut the 80% of things that are basically wasting your time.

Searching for Wisdom

2007-01-15T16:21:00.001-07:00

Psalm 90 is full of rich wisdom, and offers for me a prayer for the coming year.
It says: for God, a thousand years are as a passing day, as brief as a few night hours.
He may give us 70 or 80 years on earth—but even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away.
May we ask God to teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.
And may the Lord our God show us His approval and make our efforts successful.
May He teach us to live wisely and well.

Tardy

2007-01-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year!

I'm a bit late ushering it in blogdom, and since life seems a little too hectic right now to spend time blogging, I'll offer an easy pic.

A few of my favorite things: abode in Montana

dog, Chewy

new(ish) Subie, Jade

revelation

2006-12-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

We make ourselves a place apart
behind light words that tease and flout,
but oh, the agitated heart
till someone really find us out.

'Tis pity if the case require
(or so we say) that in the end
we speak the literal to inspire
the understanding of a friend.

But so with all, from babes that play
at hide-and-seek to God afar,
so all who hide too well away
must speak and tell us where they are.

--Robert Frost

bye bye subie :-(

2006-12-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

Blogger would not let me post a pic in "It hit me: Part 2 (literally)" below, but here's a glimpse of my car after the accident. Ten days later, I still miss her, but am starting to move on.
Any suggestions on a replacement vehicle?

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

2006-12-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks to The Palace girls who hosted a great party Saturday.
There were some awfully ugly sweaters, and vests, and pantsuits. And yes, folks, I am wearing a real-live tree skirt! ( Curvy photo credits go to Abbs).

It hit me: Part 2 (literally)

2006-12-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

I realize now more than ever how life can change in a single minute.
My wakeup call came on an ordinary Tuesday evening on my way to meet two friends at a coffee shop downtown.

I rush out the door, only to realize I’ve forgotten my cell phone. I’m going to be late, so I decide not to go back for it.
I’m downtown, not very familiar with the area.
I’m getting into the left turn lane. The light is green. I’m looking at the street sign and the oncoming traffic and decide to go. I see they’re coming quickly.

I hear a horn blast and feel the impact.
I can’t believe this is happening. I’ve never been in a real accident. A fender bender, sure—but this is bad. This is not going to be good.
I’m in slow motion, spinning around fast.
Powerless, I’m inside my car, but feel outside of it all as it collides with another and cartwheels on its side. I brace for a roll, but slide to a glass-cracking stop.

The questions begin inside my head. What just happened? Am I alive? What’s going to happen?
Quickly I see people peering through my windshield. Only a driver’s-side door separates me and the ground. I’m laying there, parallel to the earth, feeling paralyzed until the questions come from behind. Are you conscious? Are you in pain?
Then the firemen. Can you move your fingers and toes? Where are we? How old are you? What’s your name?

I realize I don’t feel any out-of-the-ordinary pain. I know I hit my head and my neck twisted in an unnatural fashion. Why am I OK? I begin to wimper then cry. They tell me to stay put while they see if they can roll my car back to an upright position. Do you think you can crawl out of here, or do you want us to cut you out? I can do it.

I don’t feel any pain. I can move, though am not sure I want to.
The fireman directs me as I crawl over my seat and out the broken back window. They lead me to an ambulance. I’m walking and shaking and answering questions and they’re making me decide if I want to go to the hospital. I don’t know how long that will take and how much it will cost and what they will do to me. No I feel fine.

I need to tell my friends what happened. My cell phone is at home. I just want to go home.
No, I don’t know their numbers. Yes, I will take a cab voucher.
The ambulance leaves, I sit in the cop car. They’re directing traffic. There’s a fire truck and about three police cars.

People driving by look shocked, like I was when I’ve seen accidents before. “I’m so glad that wasn’t me,” I thought.
Now it’s me. I thought I was a good driver. Aggressive, yes, but not reckless. I wish I could take back that split-second decision.

I get issued a $90, 3-point ticket for an improper turn, failing to yield. I’m still shaking, haven’t stopped. I can’t believe I did this. What about the other people? I go to gather my things out of my car. One cop finds my keys for me, says I need them to get in my house. It actually didn’t even occur to me to grab those. “Accidents happen,” he says. “At least no one was hurt and cars can be replaced. That’s what insurance is for.” Thank you.

The cab driver plays Enya for me as I sniffle in back seat. “Have a good night. I mean, hope your night goes better.”
First thing after telling my roommate what happened, I call the friends who’ve been worried sick and tell them I’m alive, but not well—but could be much worse.

Now what? I’m thankful to be alive. Thankful to be able to move. Thankful that soreness is my worst complaint. Yet, sad this had to happen. Sobered to realize I was powerless to stop the force of thousands of pounds of metal crashing, spinning sideways, and plummeting to their demise and my chagrin.
Humbled to accept God’s grace and dependent on help from others.
Confused about what all this means and what will happen.
Anxious to know what I’m supposed to learn from this, and for these lessons I’m strangely thankful.
I’m thankful to know what it is to have potentially lost my life. I’m thankful for the people who love me and for the chance to love others and to live more ordinary Tuesdays.
What an extraordinary gift is love and life.

It hit me

2006-12-05T15:49:00.000-07:00

“Lord, forgive me,” I repeated—cringing, wincing, expecting, even wanting a whooping.
And then it hit me—not as I was expecting, but ever so gently.
I sensed my Savior saying to me, “Child, I already have.”
My mantra shifted to “Lord, please change me. I need you. Make me more like you.”

Facing your faults is not an easy ordeal, especially the cherished little ones that fester under the surface. You can be completely oblivious to these most of the time, but they affect every move, every judgment, every comment you make.
Then when your inward griping turns outward and you’re suddenly found out, you see your whole series of judgmental thoughts, nasty words, and hidden resentments flash before your eyes.
Your pastor spoke about opening one’s eyes, and you have—though what you see is not pretty. You want to shut your eyes to the ugly side, open them to a more presentable subject, such as someone else’s flaws.
Yes, you easily tell your friends to have more grace for themselves, but you can’t possibly forgive yourself. Or can you?
"God what do you want me to do to make this better?” you ask. He challenges you not about what you should do, but who you should be—His child, accepted, redeemed, forgiven. Someone who wants to change not for self-righteous reasons, but because you've been touched by the most powerful force in the universe.
He is showing you how to embrace His grace, His love, and gently showing you your true nature as a desperate ragamuffin truly in need of Him.

It's starting to look like Christmas

2006-12-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

The snow has fallen; Christmas parties, decorating, and shopping have begun.
Our company's holiday gathering was a joyful affair.
My roomie bought a real tree and and we decorated last night. These festivities make me feel happy and bright as I again begin to reflect on the reason for these celebrations.

Please pray for Steve

2006-12-05T14:53:00.000-07:00

Saturday Nov. 25, my friend Steve Schmits was hiking with two other guys. Steve took a fall of about 25 ft straight off the edge of a rock outcropping and continued to tumble down over 100 ft to the road below. He suffered a skull fracture and a severely broken wrist.

During this unsure recovery time, please pray for him, his family, and the friends who were with him when it happened.

Steve's sister, Beth, has started a blog to keep everyone updated on his status.

Thanksgiving

2006-11-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

This holiday was spent with my fabulous friend Katie.
Some highlights (certainly not all):
Soaking in the Glenwood Springs hot pool after a near-freezing bike ride in Alma, a walk around Aspen including visiting the John Denver (yes, I am a fan!) memorial (see song lyrics engraved on rocks). Lots of yummy food (see some of Katie's beautiful friends and family members). I fell in love at the Hotel Colorado (see dog by the fireplace). Biking Klondike Bluffs near Moab past sunset, getting back in the dark, being the only crazies out on the trail (see pre-dark sunset shadow). Conquering the intensely difficult Slickrock trail (see two worn-out riders). Hiking in Arches National Park for the second time this year (see lovely Katie candid near Delicate Arch). Crawling up the huge sand hill (see sand-leaking crocs). Running and jumping down (see happy bare feet). Gobbling up oh-so-good BeauJo's pizza and driving through cute Idaho Springs (what's that about "there's no f in way")?

A little boy made my day

2006-11-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

Jake, the 6-year-old son of my boss, came to work with her today, since he doesn't have school. He made me a purple flower pin. When he gave it to me to stick on my jacket (with a piece of tape), he said, "I think you're pretty."
Oh, the beauty of a child's honesty and innocence.

Lessons from rest and roots

2006-11-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

I took Friday off work to rest and take a spiritual retreat of sorts. I woke up with a nagging sense of guilt—feeling as though I could or should do something more “productive” with this day. As I sat down for my morning quiet time, God tenderly brought me to 1 John 3:20, NLT: “Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings and he knows everything.”
God knows how much I gain worth from accomplishment, from what I can do—for Him, for myself, for others.
To make good use of my day I thought I should go for a good long bike ride, and decided to explore Gold Camp Road. After driving more than an hour to get to the south part of town, then another half hour around the general vicinity back and forth, getting frustrated for knowing generally where I was going, but not really how to get there, I finally consulted the map in my glove compartment. Once I did that I easily navigated to my destination.
I realized how often my life is like this. I try to do everything on my own, just tough it out, keep forging relentlessly ahead. How much better would the journey be if I would stop to ask for directions from others or consult my guidebook (the Bible)?
However, my map did not show, and I did not remember, that Gold Camp Road is not a good place for road bikes. Windy, steep, narrow, shadowy—the perfect opportunity to get hit by a car—not really what I wanted, so I gave up that idea. Since I was parked right there, I decided to go for a little hike up around Helen Hunt Falls.
The water plummeting down the rocks glistened in the sunlight as it reflected off the ice crystals forming. The burbling of the water sounded like a thousand footsteps steadily running down the river. The quiet race slowed my steps as I ventured up the trail.
Soon I spotted an odd sight. Trees with naked roots hanging above the ground. (Picture to come). I thought this image profound, as I’ve been studying being “rooted and established in love” (Ephesians 3:17, NIV) this week.
The Greek word for rooted is “rhizoo” meaning “to be rooted, strengthened with roots, firmly fixed, constant.” The concept comes from a tree being as strong as its roots are deep. Though the soil around these trees was eroding, they could stand because their roots were well established.
This got me wondering how strong my roots are. Would I be blown over by the winds of difficulty? If I find safety and nourishment from accomplishments and achievement, what will happen when that’s blown away?
The top of my tree, my appearance, may look healthy and thriving, but the roots are the true indicator.
As I pondered how much I gain worth from what I do, I thought, “So what can I do to change that?” Hah! Don’t you get it yet? You’re asking what you can do to stop finding worth in what you do?
It’s not about you or what you can do. It’s about what God can do, and moreso who He is.
“Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is” (Ephesians 3:17-18, NLT).
The deeper we are rooted in God’s love, the less likely we are to fall. All other ground is eroding sand.

Wise advice from…Dove dark chocolate wrappers.

2006-11-16T09:25:00.000-07:00

Laugh uncontrollably…it clears the mind.

Follow your instincts.

Sing along with the elevator music.

Smile at yourself in the mirror.

A more different kind of letting go

2006-11-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

Some child psychologists say that power struggles happen with teenagers and parents so the adult will be more willing to usher the child “out of the nest” when the time comes. If the bond between the two was the same as when the child was an infant, the parent may never be able to let go.
I attended a funeral yesterday at a church filled with many white-haired people hobbling painfully in, probably pondering which one of them would be next to go.
I had a thought that God designs old age, pain, and disease so we’re more willing to let go of this life and be ushered into the next. Certainly, he doesn’t only take the elderly to be with Him in heaven—or the troubled and diseased. A couple weeks ago He took a 29 year-old who died of a mysterious and unexpected heart attack. The man left a wife and child, and one more on the way. Soldiers die in battle every day. I suppose pain and suffering make us more willing to go, but we should be ready whenever it may happen to us. And we should be ready to lose any number of people in our life. If there’s anything left unsaid, say it now—for tomorrow may be too late.
Since this is already quite a sobering post, I’ll leave you with a leaving poem.

What’s Left

Fingerprints on the TV screen.
She’d give back all the shows,
to hold his hand again.

Fingerprints on the computer monitor,
jealous he touched it so much.

Fingerprints on the mirror,
memory staring back at her.

Fingerprints on the doorknob,
on his way out.

Starbucks spreads cheer

2006-11-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

Starbucks is planning acts of kindness more than providing caffeinated beverages. Advertising Age reports the coffee giant is handing out freebies like MetroCards for Manhattan commuters and lift tickets in Denver, but these altruistic acts serve a viral marketing purpose. Each recipient also is given a numbered "cheer pass" card and encouraged to do a good deed for someone else. Starbucks then wants the doers of good deeds to log on to the coffee giant's ItsRedAgain.com site to list their positive act, as well as check out holiday promotions and gift ideas.
In my opinion, the site is both funny and dorky. Traditions and cheer are excellent things to spread this holiday season. However, without the true meaning of Christmas, it completely misses the point.

Letting Go

2006-11-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

“If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others. We cling to our bad feelings and beat ourselves with the past when what we should do is let go. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, guilt is an idol. But when we dare to live as forgiven men and women, we join the wounded healers and draw closer to Jesus.”

–Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child

Gas-mask wearing "fun"

2006-11-06T11:14:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Mr. President

2006-11-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

Saturday, November 3 I got to meet President George W. Bush!
He was in Colorado to support the Republican candidate for governor, and stopped by Buckley Air Force Base to thank his troops. The President shook my hand, looked me in the eye, and said, "Thank you for serving." I replied, "Thank you, Mr. President."
Regardless of what one thinks of his politics, it's still an absolute honor to meet the Commander in Chief. At the same time, he is just a human, just like any leader. What I most look forward to is meeting my ultimate Big Boss, God, in heaven.

What's your price?

2006-11-03T18:35:00.000-07:00

A man at a bar sees a woman he finds attractive introduces himself and buys her a few drinks. Once he’s mustered up enough courage, he asks her, “Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?” After thinking for a few moments, she says, “Sure.” He then asks, “Would you sleep with me for a dollar?” She snaps back, “What kind of woman do you think I am?” He replies, “We’ve already determined that—now we’re just discussing the price.”
Is there a price at which you can be bought? If so, the enemy will find it.
In her insightful post, “Hindsight: Esau's tips on hunger control” Katie says, “We do have a nasty deceiver that is ever so glad to suggest that we trade our inheritance as children of God for a bag of cheetos to tide us over until dinner. He wants us to trade our birthright of purity and true love for a single moment of sexual fulfillment…He wants us to trade a body free from addictions for a cocktail of relief.”
Here’s a modern-day temptation story: While serving God faithfully as a single for many years—experiencing long draughts without being pursued or feeling valued and/or loved, then encountering multiple dating disasters, she felt lonely.
The devil came to her and said, “If you are a daughter of God, go find a husband for yourself. Do whatever you can to win the most impressionable man available. Stop everything to complete this one task.”
She answered, “It is written, ‘Your Maker is your husband, the Lord of Hosts is His name.’” Then the devil showed her in a moment all the grandeur of the rich and famous and said, “If you worship me, this shall al be yours.”
She replied, “A person’s life doesn’t consist in the abundance of her possessions.” Then the evil one whipped out one of his best quips and offered her all the beauty and glamour of a thousand models, the attention of males and females alike—if she would only give in for him. If she would struggle and strive and grab, he would give her everything she ever wanted. He sneered, “ After all, it is written, ‘Be strong and courageous.’”
And yet she stood her ground and offered, “It is said, ‘Not by might, nor by power but by my Spirit says the Lord.’”
And when the devil ended these temptations he departed from her until an opportune time.

Thoughts on hypocrisy

2006-11-03T16:22:00.000-07:00

Ted Haggard has admitted he bought methamphetamine, but said he didn't use it, and only received a massage from the alleging prostitute, a Denver man by the name of Mike Jones.

Art Toalston, the editor of Baptist Press, reported that Jones public with the allegations because it was “the moral thing in my mind, and that is expose someone who is preaching one thing and doing the opposite behind everybody’s back.”

Toalston continues: No doubt, there are hypocrites, imperfect people and even addicts of all kinds within the Christian community. To their credit, however, these individuals have the courage to embrace a faith that challenges their sin and seeks to redeem their lives.

Sadly, people outside the faith have no such resource. Hypocrites, imperfect people and addicts who lack the transforming dynamic of Christian faith have only the frailty of human will upon which to build lives of integrity. Followers of Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit, gain a new foothold for battling the dark facets of their humanity.

Rarely are addictions to various forms of depravity easily broken. A relationship with Jesus always will prove to be an uplifting, precious addition to a believer’s life, and some believers may see their weaknesses and addictions quickly fall away. But, for others, struggles with the inner churnings of sin may continue to exist after they have turned to Jesus for salvation. Some believers may find that their earlier addictions remain ever-ready to erupt. It may be months or years before all of their sinful habits and inclinations are eradicated.

And so, it is entirely possible for a believer to be what the world calls a “hypocrite,” to believe with all of his or her heart that such-and-such a behavior is sinful yet, in a weak moment, commit that sin.

In the interim, the communion with Jesus increasingly becomes a desperately needed place of refuge after each defeat. The believer cries out to God, placing the entirety of his or her life under the Lord’s forgiveness as promised in Scripture. “If we confess our sins,” as 1 John 1:9 notes, “he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” The believer knows that sooner or later, “... you may be sure that your sin will find you out,” as Moses declared to the Israelites long ago, as Scripture recounts in Numbers 32:23.

When that moment of truth and tumult finally comes, the believer’s faith in Jesus will provide the grace and fortitude to face even public embarrassment or great personal loss if, ultimately, such tragedy is required in order to attain a long-yearned-for, more complete life of purity with God.An accusatory type of guilt often sweeps over believers throughout these struggles.

Whether quietly nagging at their souls or aggressively pounding against their minds and even their bodies, the guilt seems to have a demonic energy, demanding an answer to such taunts as “You’re despicable. How can someone like you call yourself a Christian?”

This guilt is not confined to Christians. Open-hearted nonbelievers likewise are beaten down after various episodes of sin by the roar of such taunts as “You’re a hopeless mess. How can someone like you ever think of knowing God?”

Sadly, we greatly underestimate God’s forgiveness, refashioning His grace into something on the level of our humanity. We who have found new birth fail to live in all its glorious dimensions. For non-Christians, this can be especially tragic if the taunts cut short their quest for faith, derailing their dreams of a new birth and a rescue from the despair of godlessness.

Teachings about forgiveness, however, abound in Scripture. God’s forgiveness is best experienced when taken at its face value from Scripture. Just as the new birth supernaturally gives people a totally new start in life, so God’s forgiveness supernaturally provides that same new start each time His followers realize they have acted wrongly and, turning anew to Him in prayer, ask for His forgiveness.

By God’s supernatural grace, we gain the opportunity to become as fresh as the first day He entered our lives, poised to venture forth again in ever-more-rejuvenating faith.

Haggard steps down

2006-11-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

The Associated Press reported Ted Haggard resigned as head of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals and also gave up leadership of his New Life Church pending the investigation into allegations he paid a man for sex for the past three years and used drugs.
Read the story here.
Ross Parsley, the acting senior pastor at New Life, has been quoted in news reports saying, “I just know that there has been some admission of indiscretion, not admission to all of the material that has been discussed.”
This story makes me so sad on many levels. If the accusations are true—to discover an evangelical leader living in sin is disheartening. It’s not surprising to discover a shortcoming, since we are all sinners. But to be living a life of habitual undisclosed wrongdoing is particularly troublesome. This opens up a huge discussion about how the faults of Christian leaders turn nonbelievers away from Christ.
If the accusations are not true—I’m angered by the quickness of which people will drag a man’s reputation in the mud in order to support a political agenda or to increase media ratings. This news will undoubtedly have significant ramifications for the church and the coming election. Please keep this situation in prayer as it develops.

Blizzard!

2006-10-27T14:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday’s blizzard dumped more than a foot of snow on Colorado Springs, closing schools, businesses, and interstates. The snow started falling around 4 a.m., and many didn’t believe the forecasted storm would actually materialize.
Personally, I was elated to see a winter wonderland outside my window when I woke up. I spent the day reading, writing, practicing the harmonica, then the evening playing with friends. We went sledding, then roasted bratwurst and s’mores, and played cards.
Today, after a delayed start, I'm back at work. Here's the view from our break room. Looks like half a double-stuffed oreo! Now it's sunny and 50+ degrees. Crazy Colorado weather--I love it!

Go forth, and conquer!

2006-10-25T16:40:00.000-06:00

Do you tend to avoid doing things you don’t think you’re good at?

Is there something you’ve wanted to learn or do, but haven’t because you don’t think you have an innate gift for it?

I tend to dislike doing activities in which I don’t exceed, but I must realize that in order to get good at something, one must first do that thing—over and over and over again.

“Research has shown that self-discipline and practice play a larger part in academic success than talent,” I recently read.

Music is not my gift or talent, but I’ve decided to learn the harmonica. I’ve always wanted to play an instrument—especially one that’s portable that can be shared next to a campfire, for example.

Adults face these obstacles to learning something new:
1. they don’t have much time to devote to a new activity
2. they’re often tired
3. they have a lot of naysayers or lack of support in their lives

Which is most likely to stop you? How can you overcome those obstacles?
For me it’s time. I can likely overcome a perceived lack of time by making a priority out of learning this new skill, setting reachable goals (practice 20 minutes twice a week) and having someone to hold me accountable to it.

What do you want to learn/do/play/acquire? What’s holding you back?

Toe update

2006-10-23T17:16:00.000-06:00

Thanks for the concern over my silly little toe. I don’t think it’s broken. Up to this point, I’ve never broken a bone (knock on wood and pray for more grace), so I’m not really sure what it would feel like. If broken, I don’t think I would’ve been able to:
1. square dance on Friday
2. hike The Incline Saturday
3. swing dance on Sunday
I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity and an able body to do these activities. Recently witnessing a car accident and a could’ve-been-fatal “climbing” accident make me realize how fragile life and mobility are.
Let’s not take it for granted!

Oops! At least it’s a good story.

2006-10-18T15:15:00.000-06:00

OK, so it was not the wisest decision, but it ended up being fun. Heading toward Boulder in snowstorm for a concert didn’t work out so well with interstate blockages and such. But thankfully Brianne and her parents are wonderful hosts and let us use their hot-tub and swim suits. Rolling around in slippery snow and stepping back into the water didn’t prove wise for me either, as I somehow bruised and battered my toe to the point of possible breakage. I feel silly, but probably not as bad as this guy, who gave Picasso's dream the elbow.

Reuters reports (Handout photo, left): Picasso's famed "Dream" painting turned into a nightmare for Las Vegas casino magnate Steve Wynn when he accidentally gave the multimillion-dollar canvas an elbow.
Wynn had just finalized a $139 million sale to another collector of his painting, called "Le Reve" (The Dream), when he poked a finger-sized hole in the artwork while showing it to friends at his Las Vegas office a couple of weeks ago.
Director and screenwriter Nora Ephron, who witnessed and related the incident in her blog on the Huffington Post Web site (www.huffingtonpost.com), said Wynn had raised his hand to show the group something about Picasso's 1932 portrait of his mistress Marie-Therese Walter.
"At that moment, his elbow crashed backward right through the canvas. There was a terrible noise," Ephron wrote, noting that Wynn has retinitis pigmentosa, an eye disease that damages peripheral vision.
"Smack in the middle ... was a black hole the size of a silver dollar. 'Oh s---,' he said. 'Look what I've done. Thank goodness it was me.'"
Wynn's office on Tuesday confirmed the story, an account of which also appeared in this week's The New Yorker. Both accounts said Wynn had decided to release the buyer from the sale agreement and to repair and keep the painting himself.
Wynn, a millionaire casino developer and art collector, developed The Mirage and Bellagio resorts in Las Vegas in the 1990s, which spearheaded a profusion of luxury hotels and casinos on the once-seedy Las Vegas Strip.

It’s not over, but the asking…

2006-10-17T08:29:00.000-06:00

The non-commissioned officer in charge of my military unit stood over me clapping my shoulder taunting “traitor, traitor, traitor.”

I looked down and tried to fight them back, but couldn’t stop the tears racing out of my eyes, making everyone in the office including my supervisor and coworkers squirm in their seats. He immediately apologized and said he was only joking because they’d be sorry to lose me.

Proceeding to attempt coherence through sobs, I told him how much his comment made me feel devalued as a person and even though I’ll be moving to the Public Affairs office, we’re still on the same team. What upset me most was that I’m trying to serve my country to the best of my ability, and this move will allow me to use my skills, rather than sit around and stick labels on tapes all day (once a month), or shred and file papers—however necessary those tasks may be.

The man did not know how little sleep I’d had, that I was moody already and sad to be leaving the people and camaraderie I’ve gotten to know in the past three years. But when a person is not laughing at your “joke,” perhaps a cease-fire is more appropriate than an all-out attack.

Despite this little ordeal, I felt overwhelmed with thankfulness. God has answered my prayer. I joined the National Guard and went to boot camp in September, 2003 and to tech school in Biloxi, MS, to be trained in information management—willing to wait for a public affairs position to open up.

Well, it finally happened! I must admit, I had my doubts. But what a good exercise in trying to discover contentment and make a difference wherever you’re at. Transition is never as tidy as I’d like, but I find a calmer feeling from the bottom of my boots to the top of my BDU cap rediscovering God has me securely in His hands.

Wing, promise, blossom.

2006-10-11T08:48:00.000-06:00

I will not die an unlived life.

I will not live in fearof falling or catching fire.

I choose to inhabit my days,

to allow my living to open me,

to make me less afraid,

more accessible,

to loosen my heart

until it becomes a wing,

a torch, a promise.

I choose to risk my significance,

to live so that which came to me as seed

goes to the next as blossom,

and that which came to me as blossom,

goes on as fruit.

--Dawna Markova

Between the Rock and an empty place.

2006-10-09T16:19:00.000-06:00

This weekend as I attended a concert with friends, (Brandon Heath, Bebo Norman, Aaron Shust pictured) loitered outside the Olive Garden parking lot chatting past midnight, climbed rocks, rode bikes, mingled at a housewarming party, etc…I became aware that this single life really is quite fun. I usually can do what I want when I want and enjoy my friendships and situation in life. But then I attend a wedding, and as elated I am for this wonderful couple, I still fight feelings of jealousy, even anger at God that He doesn’t allow good marriages for everyone who desires that. Just between you and me, the older I get the harder it is for me to accept being single. God has placed some amazing guys in my life—for a reason and for a season—for now, I just keep climbing, and writing silly little poems.

Between the Rock and an empty place.
The Rock is where I know I can find solid ground;
the empty place is where I step off and fall.
The Rock is where I find steadiness,
the empty place, no footing at all.
The Rock holds me firm, knowing all will turn out for the best,
the wind whispers through the empty place
“You must take control and never rest.”
I’m stuck right in between the Rock and the empty place,
gripping for life. I keep climbing, trying for a steady pace,
wondering if I’ll ever reach the top,
hoping I don’t get dropped.
The Rock never changes;
the empty place looms larger
if I take my eyes off the Way.
Longing for someone to join me on this route,
the Rock remains without a doubt.

My imaginary best friend

2006-10-06T08:21:00.000-06:00

Last night at writing group my assignment was to: Create your imaginary best friend. Looks, likes and dislikes, agreements, disagreements, etc…So, in the five minutes or so, here’s what I came up with:
My imaginary best friend is tall, dark, and handsome. No really, I’m kidding.
His zodiac sign is Aquarius, like mine. Kidding again. Ha. Ha.
He’d be funnier than me. Yes, I did say he. He’s a he because he’s imaginary.
His likes and dislikes? He likes me! And I like him. That’s why we’re friends.
What else does he like, you ask?
Like, he totally likes words, and uses them better than me.
He likes to stitch—that is put me in stitches, and to stitch words together. Yes, he’s a writer and a fighter. Not one of those wimpy dudes who sits around with his thoughts all day. But he has such great thoughts, I wouldn’t mind sitting with them for a long, long time.
And time. He uses it well.
And well. He is well—healthy that is.
And is, he is. He just is. He’s not so busy doing that he can’t be.
And bees—he’s not afraid of them.
But I digress. [That’s for you poetic pudmuddle!]
He loves the outdoors and nature and adventure. He gets muddy with his buddies, then cleans up real nice. He’s courageous, even not afraid of the arts (can we say dancing?) and culture.
We agree on everything of course. Not actually, but we can talk about disagreements and be reasonable, rational adults.
Yes, he’s an adult—a real man, not just one of those little boys in a big guy’s body.
And he’s MY best friend (in my imagination).

Honestly, my real best friends are honest. They struggle; they’re real. They’re beautiful because they love Jesus and follow hard after Him. They know how to have fun and make me laugh. They even laugh at me. Yet, they can be serious and deep. These are the people I can take long walks with and share soul secrets in confidence. And after spending time with them I feel better because of it, like God was glorified from our mouths to our feet. I give the Lord praise for these authentic friendships, a treasure He’s bestowed indeed!

Don’t Get Comfortable

2006-10-03T15:34:00.000-06:00

Nashville native Brandon Heath also grew up steeped in the music world. He began playing guitar and writing songs as a 13-year-old. “Music, for me, has always been about the songwriting,” Heath says. “My plan, as a songwriter, was to write the songs and have someone else perform them; little did I know that was not God’s plan.”
Christian music remained foreign to Heath until high school when he met Jesus through youth outreach organization Young Life, which later allowed him to share his faith and music at camps and retreats.
Though Don’t Get Comfortable is Heath’s major-label debut, he already has substantial musical accomplishments under his belt, including songs written for artists such as Joy Williams and Bebo Norman. He’s touring this fall with Norman and Aaron Shust. (In Colorado Springs Friday!)
His radio single “Our God Reigns” has been topping charts, and he shows no signs of slowing down. Making himself accessible to fans, Heath put his cell phone number in the CD packaging for fans to call and tell him what they think of the record. He will return one call a week for the first six months of the album release.
And even though Heath keeps company with some of the biggest names in the business, like producer friend Dan Muckala (Backstreet Boys, The Afters), he remains grounded. Heath’s heart for missions and those living in poverty has taken him to India and Ecuador. A few years ago, he and his roommates moved to a lower-income neighborhood in Nashville to be intentional about creating a missional community unlike the one in which they were raised.
Heath makes a point to live what he sings in Don’t Get Comfortable. And he wears cool hats when he doesn't care about his hair. :-)
Here's a picture of me and my roomie and him in Denver at ICRS. One of his roommates is fellow singer/songwriter Matt Wertz.
We talked about collaborating on a book tentatively titled "Rules for Roomies."
Rule #1--Don't wear matching outfits at the same time unless it's required.

Road trip!

2006-10-02T16:05:00.000-06:00

Wow, what a whirlwind, wonderful trip! Three days, five people, three national parks, one vehicle, lots of laughs, more memories than I can remark on here. Here's a photo sampling.

First stop: Great Sand Dunes National Park.

Coloradwow!

When on a road trip, one must visit unusual (more different) diners.

It's Grand--like a canyon!

Spoon anyone?

There's nothing like brats and s'mores cooked on a campfire--with a huge branch growing out of it.

Waking up at sunrise--one of the best accidents that happened.

Four Corners: taking a quick break from the long sit.

New music today

2006-09-26T09:07:00.000-06:00

Switchfoot fans, here it comes.

Sparrow Records/Columbia Records will release Oh! Gravity., the eagerly-awaited sixth studio album from the multi-platinum-selling San Diego-based rock band on December 26.

In anticipation of the release, Switchfoot will hit the road for an extensive U.S. fall tour, including a stop at Denver's Ogden Theatre Oct. 23. A first peek at new album material with the song “Dirty Second Hands” is available on iTunes starting today.

Also hitting iTunes (and stores) today is sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records’ lead-worshiper Chris Tomlin’s fourth studio album, See The Morning, Check out the album’s e-card at http://www.seethemorning.com/ for samples of the music, a slide show, tour itinerary and more.
Good stuff!

Shelters—update on lessons from the stye

2006-09-25T17:57:00.000-06:00

Yes, the stye is gone. And I’m even following my own advice by making an intentional effort to spend time attending to what’s going on inside and do what makes me come alive.

I said “no” to teaching yoga and starting massage therapy classes in January. Though it saddens me not to be starting something new, I’m excited to embark on the adventures that await.

Last night our pastor taught from Luke 9:28-33. He built a blanket fort and compared it to the church. He asked, “Are we withdrawing, seeking shelter from the world, rather than seeking ways to redeem it?”

Interestingly, the same morning in my Beth Moore Breaking Free Bible study, she emphasized, “When opressed, the children of God have a tendency to prepare shelters for themselves rather than do what liberty demands. These shelters can easily turn into strongholds.”

I don't know if I explained the connection very well--but it made sense to me. It's funny how God will emphasize a point in several ways in one day--just to make sure we're paying attention.

I no longer want to shelter myself with busyness or pride in various accomplishments.
I want to use my uniqueness to make a big deal of God (see next post).

Use YOUR uniqueness

2006-09-25T17:54:00.000-06:00

My wonderful mother flew to Colorado to visit me and attend the Women of Faith conference. Besides my time with her, some highlights for me:

Lisa Smith brought tears flowing from my eyes that not any of the polished speakers or singers could evoke. A beautiful girl with Down Syndrome signing during Sandi Patty’s performance. Such passion, gusto, and grace Lisa displayed as her hands flickered and twirled. Head thrown back and body swaying, worshiping with child-like reckless abandon. It amazes me how God uses the weak to shame the strong.

Isn't it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these "nobodies" to expose the hollow pretensions of the "somebodies"? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. That's why we have the saying, "If you're going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God." --1 Corinthians 1:26-31 (The Message)

Max Lucado’s main message: “Use your uniqueness to make a big deal out of God every day of your life.”

Lisa perfectly displayed using one’s uniqueness to make a big deal of God. No credentials or bio in the program, she didn’t need to try to impress anyone—yet she brought nearly all the 17,000 attendees to their feet. Her sweet joyful spirit impressed upon my heart that it’s not those who are perfect that can be used by God. I’ve never seen such poetry moving from hand to hand. No pretenses, no performance, just praise!

Sad Starbucks and spinach news

2006-09-25T17:51:00.000-06:00

Sadly, effective Oct. 3, Starbucks is set to raise beverage prices by five cents.
Starbucks spokeswoman Valerie O'Neil said that rising business costs, including health care and raw ingredients, prompted the price increase.
O please, don’t they make enough off a $5 latte? In even sadder news, I will still be purchasing my pumpkin spice lattes there.
The saddest news of all: U.S. restaurant chains removed spinach from their menus last week after the leafy green vegetable was linked to more than 100 cases of E. coli. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration warned consumers not to eat fresh spinach until further notice. The vegetable was linked to 109 cases of E. coli infection in 19 states, including one Wisconsin adult’s death.
However, spinach-hating children everywhere rejoice. “Mommy, I told you spinach can kill you!” Those of us who actually like the raw leafy-green delight mourn its demise.

Hiking Pikes Peak

2006-09-18T09:01:00.000-06:00

It was a blast—literally, mixed in with miserably cold and memorable.

Though this was my third time hiking to the summit, I’d never trekked up the back side, and never tackled it with blasting winds and frigid temps--all this after only FOUR hours of sleep.
Please read Katie’s excellent account of our adventure.

Like her, I felt tempted to focus on how cold and miserable I felt. Can you see in the picture I look like I’m going to cry?

And I did my share of feeling sorry for myself and my friends. But when I realized that pity wouldn’t make us feel any better, I chose to be thankful. One of the things I was most thankful for was the promise of a hot bath when I got home. I knew without doubt that rest would come.
Though I couldn’t change my painful circumstances in the moment I could find joy in the journey.