On Mick Sliva’s (very cool guy, WB editor, whom I interned under while at Focus) blog, http://www.yourwritersgroup.com/mywritersgroup/frivolity/index.html, he said, “It's strange blogging. It's like publishing your journal or taking your shirt off in front of the class.”
My thoughts exactly!
So here, at the risk of self-exposure, I post a more personal blog entry.
Sometimes I am very fearful that my “soul mate” has or will pass me by. While in a relationship, I fear that I’ll get attached, it won’t work out; failure and hurt again. What if he’s “the one” and I lose him?
What if I’m dating someone, and miss “the one?”
I think culture has encouraged us to fear marrying the wrong person.
I read an article today by Ryan Barnhart, called “Selling Our Soulmate” http://www.relevantmag.com/life_article.php?id=7103 that challenged preconceived notions about soul mates.
Barnhart says, “Finally, the best advice I received came from a pastor; he said, ‘Mass media of our modern culture has ruined the concept of a soul mate … ‘The one’ we should be looking for is Jesus, and then He’ll help us change so that we could make a marriage work with whomever.’That’s a strange concept: Marriage with anyone would work as long as we follow God’s guidelines and commit to living that out daily. It makes sense, though, because I have seen many people fall in and out of love faster than they change their socks. If we rely upon feeling in love, then that obviously doesn’t work.”
Love is a decision and not just a feeling.
My friend Denise’s blog, http://coloringgirl.blogspot.com/, often dialogues about these subjects. She says, “It is difficult not to think in terms of soulmates. It is the part of culture that has seeped in. Songs, movies, TV shows, and romance books perpetuate the myth.”
Denise adds, “A biblical relationship requires more effort. So does marriage. What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than happy? It is the question posed by Gary Thomas in his book Sacred Marriage.
Difficulty in marriage is inevitable—no matter if you’re married to your ‘soul mate’ or not.
I need to remember he won’t meet my needs or read my mind, that dating [and marriage, of course] won’t always be exciting and fun, that there will be hard times, miscommunication, and hurt feelings.
But you know what? That’s OK that he not meet my every need. It’s not about me. No human ever will complete me, nor should I expect him to.
Only Christ can complete me.
I’m still grasping to understand this concept. It will be a lifelong journey.
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