It’s not over, but the asking…

The non-commissioned officer in charge of my military unit stood over me clapping my shoulder taunting “traitor, traitor, traitor.”

I looked down and tried to fight them back, but couldn’t stop the tears racing out of my eyes, making everyone in the office including my supervisor and coworkers squirm in their seats. He immediately apologized and said he was only joking because they’d be sorry to lose me.

Proceeding to attempt coherence through sobs, I told him how much his comment made me feel devalued as a person and even though I’ll be moving to the Public Affairs office, we’re still on the same team. What upset me most was that I’m trying to serve my country to the best of my ability, and this move will allow me to use my skills, rather than sit around and stick labels on tapes all day (once a month), or shred and file papers—however necessary those tasks may be.

The man did not know how little sleep I’d had, that I was moody already and sad to be leaving the people and camaraderie I’ve gotten to know in the past three years. But when a person is not laughing at your “joke,” perhaps a cease-fire is more appropriate than an all-out attack.

Despite this little ordeal, I felt overwhelmed with thankfulness. God has answered my prayer. I joined the National Guard and went to boot camp in September, 2003 and to tech school in Biloxi, MS, to be trained in information management—willing to wait for a public affairs position to open up.

Well, it finally happened! I must admit, I had my doubts. But what a good exercise in trying to discover contentment and make a difference wherever you’re at. Transition is never as tidy as I’d like, but I find a calmer feeling from the bottom of my boots to the top of my BDU cap rediscovering God has me securely in His hands.