waiting, wondering, wishing
the meantime it’s a lean time, feels like i have much
but yearn for so much more
it’s hoping in the dark it’s trusting, it’s worrying,
then settling down
getting worked up, then calming,
tensing, then relaxing
it’s trying to see the future
it’s being OK with here and now
waiting is growing—a painful process but when the wait is fulfilled,
it’s rejoicing it’s all been worthwhile
Lord as I wait I don’t want to compromise
I don’t want to fill space and time with useless distractions,
or even useful ones
May this time be pregnant with expectancy,
hopeful that good things will come, Your promises fulfilled
may I be filled with your spirit, rather than anxiety
may I be full with You
You are alive and living inside me
waiting is letting go of control of wishes, wants, desires, plans
it’s accepting what God has in store
opening hands to accept good gifts
Jesus waits on us
He came to earth so He could be acted upon
i like to be an actor—the one who initiates the action,
but God calls us to wait for Him to act—and even so,
this isn’t something He Himself hasn’t had to endure
Jesus Christ, the divine Waiter
help me to wait like you—patiently, trustingly, honestly, lovingly
Beautiful words from Romans 8 (The Message)
In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition,
entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. …Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them--living and breathing God!
Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life.
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?"
God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children.
We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!
That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next.
Everything in creation is being more or less held back.
God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead.
Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother.
We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
She is difficult to read.The position of her eyebrows, her voice,
never too high or too low.
Turns her head as the pages shuffle,
shifting in the breeze.
She searches, tries to read him first
before he gets too close. She cracks open
his cover. Eyes scanning, studying his story.
Wind whips the pages, whispers, “This story’s not safe,”
But she keeps reading—it’s just to good to put down.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Falling
What is love?Can you tell me in one sentence?
Earlier I wrote “love is a decision, not just a feeling.”
While I still think this is true, (I’ve read enough marriage books to be adequately brain-trained) I think I had it backwards.
Love is first feeling, which later, in healthy relationships, grows into commitment.
Those lovely feelings are natural and good and should come before the monotonous, every day “I am choosing to love you” decisions.
And when you truly love someone, you can’t help those feelings from creeping out, well, more like busting out.
“Love is what happens. It is not something you conjure or create. You cannot manufacture it. You cannot make it happen. It is like falling; it is out of your control. You do not climb into love or fly into love or even walk into it. You fall into love; love bruises and bumps…but it also holds.” –Ned Erickson, Falling Into Love (Relevant Books)
Regina Spektor’s song, “Fidelity” http://www.myspace.com/reginaspektor is a new favorite, in which I can relate:
I’ve never loved nobody fully / Always one foot on the ground / And by protecting my heart truly, I got lost / In the sounds / I hear in my mind / All of these voices. …all of these words…all this music…and it breaks my heart / Suppose I kept on singing on singing love songs…just to break my fall…
I have never let myself fall. But you know what? I am going to fall.
If not in love, then at least out of a plane (but preferably both).
Anyone wanna go skydiving?
Thursday, March 02, 2006
The pursuit
Wednesday she woke up needy.
Needy for sleep first. It had been fitful—she woke at 1 a.m. and couldn’t return to sleep until she drank some tea, read her Bible. Even after that, sleeping seemed a chore—until the morning when sleep was unused vacation.
Her next need eluded definition. She shuffled off to work, went about the day searching for something, aching, hungering. But not for food. She felt no hunger pangs and decided not to eat until she had to.
A coworker, whose 16-year-old daughter recently gave birth, called the office, gushing with how smitten everyone is with the baby.
Another need awoke, started crying within. The need to give life, to care more for another being than for self.
She kept looking at her phone, hoping it would ring, to satisfy the need to connect. At the same time she wished it to not ring, for the fear of talking without relating. She felt the emptiness even more when she attended a party that evening. Useless words given, nothing memorable received.
Thursday was different.
She woke with a feeling. A calm sense someone had spoken to her as she slept. She didn’t remember any distinct words. I was like someone injected a peace in her veins. How else could she feel so loved, so sure that even though she’d done nothing to deserve it, someone would cherish her despite her weakness, her fear, her intentional self-abuse? Someone wanted to tell her he loved her more than she loved herself. And that made her want to change, to be better. Not because she felt the need to earn this love, but to return it somehow.
She later learned someone had prayed this prayer on her behalf:
"O most loving Father: Grant us faith that we may dread nothing but the loss of You. Teach us to expect you. Give us your adventure and abandon, your risky hope, your absolute confidence. Teach us to be sure of only You. That we may follow you with the peaceful awareness that knowing You comes before knowing; trusting You before understanding; following You before itineraries.
Interrupt us where we least wish You to come; handle and heal us where we ourselves would most protect; rattle us where we are most comfortable; astound us where we feel least safe, where we least trust You; distract us where we are most self-consumed; wait for us where we least believe we can go. Astound us, O Lord, with Your grace. We would be exuberant children, Father, more thrilled by your return home than by any gifts You may have for us in your pockets. And we Your children pray this by Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, Who lives and reigns with You and Your Holy Spirit, Our God of Eternal Surprises, Our Light in dark places. Amen.”
This message delivered exactly what she needed. A reminder of the hymn she relates so well with: “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.”
Now He is drawing her back, once again. She senses Him pursuing her with His presence, as she’s readily ignored so often before.
This special “someone” helped her remember that the God of the universe is romantic. He pursues us with His sunshine, amuses us with laughter, and calms us in what seems disaster.
Needy for sleep first. It had been fitful—she woke at 1 a.m. and couldn’t return to sleep until she drank some tea, read her Bible. Even after that, sleeping seemed a chore—until the morning when sleep was unused vacation.
Her next need eluded definition. She shuffled off to work, went about the day searching for something, aching, hungering. But not for food. She felt no hunger pangs and decided not to eat until she had to.
A coworker, whose 16-year-old daughter recently gave birth, called the office, gushing with how smitten everyone is with the baby.
Another need awoke, started crying within. The need to give life, to care more for another being than for self.
She kept looking at her phone, hoping it would ring, to satisfy the need to connect. At the same time she wished it to not ring, for the fear of talking without relating. She felt the emptiness even more when she attended a party that evening. Useless words given, nothing memorable received.
Thursday was different.
She woke with a feeling. A calm sense someone had spoken to her as she slept. She didn’t remember any distinct words. I was like someone injected a peace in her veins. How else could she feel so loved, so sure that even though she’d done nothing to deserve it, someone would cherish her despite her weakness, her fear, her intentional self-abuse? Someone wanted to tell her he loved her more than she loved herself. And that made her want to change, to be better. Not because she felt the need to earn this love, but to return it somehow.
She later learned someone had prayed this prayer on her behalf:
"O most loving Father: Grant us faith that we may dread nothing but the loss of You. Teach us to expect you. Give us your adventure and abandon, your risky hope, your absolute confidence. Teach us to be sure of only You. That we may follow you with the peaceful awareness that knowing You comes before knowing; trusting You before understanding; following You before itineraries.
Interrupt us where we least wish You to come; handle and heal us where we ourselves would most protect; rattle us where we are most comfortable; astound us where we feel least safe, where we least trust You; distract us where we are most self-consumed; wait for us where we least believe we can go. Astound us, O Lord, with Your grace. We would be exuberant children, Father, more thrilled by your return home than by any gifts You may have for us in your pockets. And we Your children pray this by Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, Who lives and reigns with You and Your Holy Spirit, Our God of Eternal Surprises, Our Light in dark places. Amen.”
This message delivered exactly what she needed. A reminder of the hymn she relates so well with: “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.”
Now He is drawing her back, once again. She senses Him pursuing her with His presence, as she’s readily ignored so often before.
This special “someone” helped her remember that the God of the universe is romantic. He pursues us with His sunshine, amuses us with laughter, and calms us in what seems disaster.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Ridiculous
what a ridiculous day
a sonnet* for me he wrote
what a ludicrious thought
a song** for me he sang
isn’t it quite preposterous?
he called me beautiful
addleheaded he must be
“you are wonderful” he said
and then I start to believe.
for me he wanted to pray
how unusual and rare
leaning in for a long embrace***
if only the absurd could remain.
*not often are the finest things found, shared.
(there are those who bravely, nightly find
the moon and those who sometimes do.) I cared
more for the moon tonight (when you remind
me moonward, a face half-hid and hung low,
turned close as sky, I see…) the moon you caught
first then shared, you thought moon enough to slow
and stop with me, to offer the unsought
heavenly. (I will not compare you and moon:
excellencies each, both make words seem few;
but too sometimes since and not any sometimes soon
will I find a fellow moon-watcher.) you
with your moon just over shoulder remind:
the nearest look beside, the finest find.
**No one is alone
Hard to see the light now
Just don't let it go
Things will come out right now
We can make it so
***theater hug- (n.) {from the Latin "hugum theatricus."
"hugum" being the act of holding while allowing oneself to be held.
"theatricus" meaning marked with the sincerity and playfulness of those who practice being real in the moment.}
An embrace, a true one, an event unto itself.
To listen by holding.
When two people wrap their arms around each other and hold tightly till both feel thoroughly held. (People need to feel that.)
An embrace of duration, one that takes time.
In fact, as long as necessary till both parties drop their defenses,
till neither can persist in the belief that they are alone.
Sometimes one or both will whisper precisely what they know the other needs most to hear; often no words are needed at all.
The opposite of a Baptist hug.
Baptist hug- (n.) an unfulfilling event where two people stand three feet apart then lean treacherously otherward to pat the other in non-discussed but nonetheless agreed-upon safe areas.
Baptists don't like to remember that they have bodies, that they are good, that God once got himself a body just so He could actually touch some of his children.
a sonnet* for me he wrote
what a ludicrious thought
a song** for me he sang
isn’t it quite preposterous?
he called me beautiful
addleheaded he must be
“you are wonderful” he said
and then I start to believe.
for me he wanted to pray
how unusual and rare
leaning in for a long embrace***
if only the absurd could remain.
*not often are the finest things found, shared.
(there are those who bravely, nightly find
the moon and those who sometimes do.) I cared
more for the moon tonight (when you remind
me moonward, a face half-hid and hung low,
turned close as sky, I see…) the moon you caught
first then shared, you thought moon enough to slow
and stop with me, to offer the unsought
heavenly. (I will not compare you and moon:
excellencies each, both make words seem few;
but too sometimes since and not any sometimes soon
will I find a fellow moon-watcher.) you
with your moon just over shoulder remind:
the nearest look beside, the finest find.
**No one is alone
Hard to see the light now
Just don't let it go
Things will come out right now
We can make it so
***theater hug- (n.) {from the Latin "hugum theatricus."
"hugum" being the act of holding while allowing oneself to be held.
"theatricus" meaning marked with the sincerity and playfulness of those who practice being real in the moment.}
An embrace, a true one, an event unto itself.
To listen by holding.
When two people wrap their arms around each other and hold tightly till both feel thoroughly held. (People need to feel that.)
An embrace of duration, one that takes time.
In fact, as long as necessary till both parties drop their defenses,
till neither can persist in the belief that they are alone.
Sometimes one or both will whisper precisely what they know the other needs most to hear; often no words are needed at all.
The opposite of a Baptist hug.
Baptist hug- (n.) an unfulfilling event where two people stand three feet apart then lean treacherously otherward to pat the other in non-discussed but nonetheless agreed-upon safe areas.
Baptists don't like to remember that they have bodies, that they are good, that God once got himself a body just so He could actually touch some of his children.
Why?
Why did God give me…
Only to take away?
Why—for a while—can’t things seem to stay?
I don’t know. I may never.
It’s not for me to figure God out—just to trust.
But I’m starting to see
God gives as He sees fit—this is only the start of it.
He will surpass expectations, surprise
meet every need.
Only to take away?
Why—for a while—can’t things seem to stay?
I don’t know. I may never.
It’s not for me to figure God out—just to trust.
But I’m starting to see
God gives as He sees fit—this is only the start of it.
He will surpass expectations, surprise
meet every need.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
There's Gotta Be More
"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature or the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased."
--C.S. Lewis
--C.S. Lewis
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
More personal, soul mates
On Mick Sliva’s (very cool guy, WB editor, whom I interned under while at Focus) blog, http://www.yourwritersgroup.com/mywritersgroup/frivolity/index.html, he said, “It's strange blogging. It's like publishing your journal or taking your shirt off in front of the class.”
My thoughts exactly!
So here, at the risk of self-exposure, I post a more personal blog entry.
Sometimes I am very fearful that my “soul mate” has or will pass me by. While in a relationship, I fear that I’ll get attached, it won’t work out; failure and hurt again. What if he’s “the one” and I lose him?
What if I’m dating someone, and miss “the one?”
I think culture has encouraged us to fear marrying the wrong person.
I read an article today by Ryan Barnhart, called “Selling Our Soulmate” http://www.relevantmag.com/life_article.php?id=7103 that challenged preconceived notions about soul mates.
Barnhart says, “Finally, the best advice I received came from a pastor; he said, ‘Mass media of our modern culture has ruined the concept of a soul mate … ‘The one’ we should be looking for is Jesus, and then He’ll help us change so that we could make a marriage work with whomever.’That’s a strange concept: Marriage with anyone would work as long as we follow God’s guidelines and commit to living that out daily. It makes sense, though, because I have seen many people fall in and out of love faster than they change their socks. If we rely upon feeling in love, then that obviously doesn’t work.”
Love is a decision and not just a feeling.
My friend Denise’s blog, http://coloringgirl.blogspot.com/, often dialogues about these subjects. She says, “It is difficult not to think in terms of soulmates. It is the part of culture that has seeped in. Songs, movies, TV shows, and romance books perpetuate the myth.”
Denise adds, “A biblical relationship requires more effort. So does marriage. What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than happy? It is the question posed by Gary Thomas in his book Sacred Marriage.
Difficulty in marriage is inevitable—no matter if you’re married to your ‘soul mate’ or not.
I need to remember he won’t meet my needs or read my mind, that dating [and marriage, of course] won’t always be exciting and fun, that there will be hard times, miscommunication, and hurt feelings.
But you know what? That’s OK that he not meet my every need. It’s not about me. No human ever will complete me, nor should I expect him to.
Only Christ can complete me.
I’m still grasping to understand this concept. It will be a lifelong journey.
My thoughts exactly!
So here, at the risk of self-exposure, I post a more personal blog entry.
Sometimes I am very fearful that my “soul mate” has or will pass me by. While in a relationship, I fear that I’ll get attached, it won’t work out; failure and hurt again. What if he’s “the one” and I lose him?
What if I’m dating someone, and miss “the one?”
I think culture has encouraged us to fear marrying the wrong person.
I read an article today by Ryan Barnhart, called “Selling Our Soulmate” http://www.relevantmag.com/life_article.php?id=7103 that challenged preconceived notions about soul mates.
Barnhart says, “Finally, the best advice I received came from a pastor; he said, ‘Mass media of our modern culture has ruined the concept of a soul mate … ‘The one’ we should be looking for is Jesus, and then He’ll help us change so that we could make a marriage work with whomever.’That’s a strange concept: Marriage with anyone would work as long as we follow God’s guidelines and commit to living that out daily. It makes sense, though, because I have seen many people fall in and out of love faster than they change their socks. If we rely upon feeling in love, then that obviously doesn’t work.”
Love is a decision and not just a feeling.
My friend Denise’s blog, http://coloringgirl.blogspot.com/, often dialogues about these subjects. She says, “It is difficult not to think in terms of soulmates. It is the part of culture that has seeped in. Songs, movies, TV shows, and romance books perpetuate the myth.”
Denise adds, “A biblical relationship requires more effort. So does marriage. What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than happy? It is the question posed by Gary Thomas in his book Sacred Marriage.
Difficulty in marriage is inevitable—no matter if you’re married to your ‘soul mate’ or not.
I need to remember he won’t meet my needs or read my mind, that dating [and marriage, of course] won’t always be exciting and fun, that there will be hard times, miscommunication, and hurt feelings.
But you know what? That’s OK that he not meet my every need. It’s not about me. No human ever will complete me, nor should I expect him to.
Only Christ can complete me.
I’m still grasping to understand this concept. It will be a lifelong journey.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Tomlin Tops Dove Award Nominations.
The Gospel Music Assoc. (GMA) announced nominations for the 37th annual GMA Music Awards, also known as Dove Awards, to be held Apr. 5. Chris Tomlin led nominees with nine nods. David Crowder Band, Natalie Grant, Joy Williams, and Relient K followed with six nominations each. Switchfoot, Jeremy Camp, Casting Crowns, The Crabb Family, Israel Houghton, BarlowGirl, and Third Day received five nominations each. For a full list of nominees, click here.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Monday Jan. 30 Christian Culture Watch
‘NARNIA’ HITS STORES APRIL 4. Disney will release The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe on single and dual-disc DVD versions April 4. Both will include optional pop-up windows throughout the film with facts on the movie and author C.S. Lewis. The dual-disc will include bonus features, including a concept booklet, a making-of featurette, an interactive Narnia map, and more.
In other news, Disney agreed to acquire Steve Jobs’ Pixar Animation for $6.3 billion in stock plus $1.1 billion of the company’s cash, according to MarketWatch.
THE AFTERS SONG ON MTV, MAJOR MOVIE. Christian rock band The Afters’ song “Beautiful Love” on their album I Wish We All Could Win (INO/Provident-Integrity) will be the theme song on MTV’s new show 8th & Ocean airing this spring. The song will also appear in Lindsay Lohan’s new movie, Just My Luck, coming in May 2006.
In other news, Disney agreed to acquire Steve Jobs’ Pixar Animation for $6.3 billion in stock plus $1.1 billion of the company’s cash, according to MarketWatch.
THE AFTERS SONG ON MTV, MAJOR MOVIE. Christian rock band The Afters’ song “Beautiful Love” on their album I Wish We All Could Win (INO/Provident-Integrity) will be the theme song on MTV’s new show 8th & Ocean airing this spring. The song will also appear in Lindsay Lohan’s new movie, Just My Luck, coming in May 2006.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Must-have worship albums
Caedmon's Call follows up on their 2001 worship album with In the Company of Angels II: The World Will Sing to release March 7. Mark your calendars--this album is definitely worth buying (at your local Christian store :-)Watermark--Nathan and Christy Nockels--are saying goodbye after more than a decade of music-making. Their farewell concert is recorded on the live album, A Grateful People.
Their friends Charlie Hall, Chris Tomlin, Shane & Shane, and others join them for an unforgetable worship album.
Pre-order A Grateful People for just $12.97 through FamilyChristian.com and get 5 FREE .mp3 downloads of Watermark's greatest studio hits including "Gloria," "More Than You'll Ever Know," "Take Me There," "The Glory Of Your Name" and "Where To Find Me." Download instructions will be sent via email at the time of pre-order purchase. Offer valid through 3/7/06. Offer not in stores.
End of the Spear gets mixed reviews
Every Tribe Entertainment’s End of the Spear, the true story of five missionaries slain by Waodani tribesmen, opened in approximately 1,162 theaters nationwide Friday, Jan. 20.The PG-13 film gained mixed reviews and spawned debates whether the Gospel is explicit enough and why the leading role went to a practicing homosexual. However, Christian leaders such as FamilyLife and American Bible Society presidents publicly commended the film, which ranked in the top 10 at the box office and grossed an estimated $4.7 million over the weekend.
What do you think--of the film and the "controversy"?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Great new band alert
Sparrow records recently announced that along with Atlantic/Lava, it will simultaneously release the debut project from NEEDTOBREATHE, the band poised to be “the next big thing.”
Their album Daylight was recorded in the UK and produced by Andy Green, (of Keane’s multi-platinum “Hopes and Fears”).
It streets nationwide April 4, 2006.
I’ve listened to the 11 tracks on the pre-release, and I’m diggin’ it. Unfortunately I can’t share the whole thing with you, but if you go to, http://www.myspace.com/needtobreathe, you can hear three songs.
Take a listen and let me know what you think.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
The Outdoor Bible review
Finally, outdoor enthusiasts can carry a Bible on excursions without worrying about its pages getting waterlogged or torn.The Outdoor Bible’s waterproof, tear-resistant pages are printed on 100% plastic that feels like paper. The only threats are 150-degree temperatures and petroleum products. Ballpoint pens work to make notes and mark passages, but highlighters will smudge off.
The complete NASB New Testament comes in six rugged booklets stored inside a burlap bag. The first volume is Matthew and Mark; volume 2, Luke; volume 3, John; volume 4, Acts and Romans; volume 5, 1 Corinthians through Philemon; volume 6, Hebrews through Revelation.
The folding format can be confusing at first, but instructions adequately explain how to use it. The durable design modeled after outdoor maps is ideal for readers who desire a small, lightweight version, or those who only want to pack a book or two of Bible.
Other versions and the Old Testament would be welcome additions. Bardin & Marsee say they’ll release the KJV this year.Recommend not only to outdoor enthusiasts, but also to travelers, or those prone to spilling on or ripping Bible pages.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
The Run of My Life
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary. –Isaiah 40:31
This is one of my life verses. Call me crazy, but I love to run. Though I may never set any records (besides my own), I feel God’s pleasure when I run, just like Eric Liddell in Chariots of Fire.
Sunday I ran the P.F. Chang’s Rock n’ Roll Arizona half-marathon in Phoenix.
This is one of my life verses. Call me crazy, but I love to run. Though I may never set any records (besides my own), I feel God’s pleasure when I run, just like Eric Liddell in Chariots of Fire.
Sunday I ran the P.F. Chang’s Rock n’ Roll Arizona half-marathon in Phoenix.
Even though I trained hard for 12 weeks I almost didn’t go. I thought it would be too expensive, too much of a hassle. Though it wasn’t cheap or easy, it was worth every penny and drop of sweat—and then some.
Thanks to my dear friend Ruth who encouraged me to seize the day (and to take pictures along the way)! 
At each mile mark I kept being surprised at how good I felt. I started worrying what would happen when I finally reached mile 13. But I banished those futile thoughts and repeated in my head, “God gives joy for the journey and strength for each step.”
Life is so much like running. It’s not just about the finish line. All we have right now is this one step, this moment of this day. If we race well now, we’ll finish well later.
One mile at a time (averaging 7:50) I finished in 1:42, had fun, enjoyed the sun and felt really good during the run.
It's Not About Me
When I read other people’s blogs, I get discouraged and downtrodden as I start to compare myself to their pretty pictures, well-spoken words, and fascinating lives of accomplishment.
I confess—one reason I haven’t posted recently is nothing I say will be clever enough to compete in comparison. But by the grace of God I’m recognizing the lies I’m so prone to believe.
I suppose society has taught me to compete and compare (isn’t that what races are all about?), but God’s society teaches that I am unique and special no matter what anyone else says or thinks. You are too.
We each have our very own purpose and reason why we were placed on this planet. Yet we share common purposes—like building others up. I want my blog to be a place where others come to be encouraged. When I get so focused on impressing I get choked up and cant’ do any blessing. I must remind myself it’s not about me.
I’d rather bless than impress. And so I’m renaming my blog “It’s Not About Me.”
I confess—one reason I haven’t posted recently is nothing I say will be clever enough to compete in comparison. But by the grace of God I’m recognizing the lies I’m so prone to believe.
I suppose society has taught me to compete and compare (isn’t that what races are all about?), but God’s society teaches that I am unique and special no matter what anyone else says or thinks. You are too.
We each have our very own purpose and reason why we were placed on this planet. Yet we share common purposes—like building others up. I want my blog to be a place where others come to be encouraged. When I get so focused on impressing I get choked up and cant’ do any blessing. I must remind myself it’s not about me.
I’d rather bless than impress. And so I’m renaming my blog “It’s Not About Me.”
Monday, December 12, 2005
Temporarily Out of Order
For those of you who are still checking back with me, this blog-machine will be out of order until after the New Year.
And it's not because I'm out having fun. Well, ocassionally I will be (pic of latest diversion below), but I'm also working very hard. It's 8:30 and I'm still at work, after all.
And it's not because I'm out having fun. Well, ocassionally I will be (pic of latest diversion below), but I'm also working very hard. It's 8:30 and I'm still at work, after all.
Monday, November 21, 2005
The intersection
I like guys; I really do (actually I prefer to like one boy rather than multiple ones at one time). But they’re so much trouble!We both had a great time this weekend—which is why I’ve been having a hard time eating, a really hard time sleeping.
I just keep wondering what's going to happen at
the intersection of me and him.
Is God giving me the green light to move toward a relationship?
What happens if I go, but get in a crash?
How do I keep from speeding, yet go quickly enough not to block up traffic?
Yet, I know I can’t enjoy the journey when I’m so concerned about the destination (happily ever after).
I have to accept that I will never know what’s at the end of the road.
That’s why (one of many reasons) I need God.
I ask Jesus to take the wheel.
I want to surrender this journey and each new turn to Him.
Show me the path where I should go, O Lord; point out the right road for me.
–Psalm 25:4 TLB
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