I'm a pumpkin head and it's all my neighbor's fault

I died my hair because my new neighbor turns out to be a stalker.
Well, I don't know if he's really stalking me and my roommate, but every time either of us comes out the door he opens up his door and casually acts like he’s going somewhere. He’ll walk around playing with his cell phone, or stroll down to his car, but then go back upstairs. Weird, I tell you. He’s a really nice guy (and attractive too), but he’s a traveling motivational speaker and comes off a bit slick and contrived, like a car salesman. Maybe he’s just trying to make conversation. Coworker Anna said, “he’s just trying to get to know you two because you’re hot.” So dying my hair really has nothing to do with my neighbor. I just need to blame it on someone.
I’m just wondering what part of the color “iced coffee” means ORANGE. I guess pumpkin spice latte (yum!) would be a nice-sounding hair color, but I was going for the more natural brunette look. I should’ve smelled trouble when I went to the store and the clerk couldn’t give me any details about products because they have too many customers complain that the color didn’t turn out right. And I suppose I should’ve heeded the warning, “not recommended for lightened hair.” But I’m blonde! How can they expect me to interpret “not for lightened hair” to mean, “don’t use this if you’re blonde”? The redeeming value is it’s supposed to wash out in 8-10 shampoos. Although, the clerk did say it may NOT wash out.
Guess I should’ve listened, but it’s really all my neighbor’s fault. Maybe he won’t think I’m cute as an orange-head. At least my pumpkin-colored hair makes me seem festive and in-season. Perhaps for Christmas I’ll try red—or green. Just kidding mom! Will you please remind me why you said not to talk to strangers?